‘I see.’ His voice sounded blank.
‘I’m sorry. I know I did a terrible thing when I tricked you into marrying me, but I had no idea how terrible, making you choose between doing the honourable thing and fulfilling your father’s expectations.’ She hung her head miserably. ‘I’m not the kind of woman he wanted for you and I never can be. And I don’t know what to do about that. I don’t know how to fix it. I just know that I don’t belong here.’
There was a long pause, disturbed only by the continued patter of rain against the window.
‘You’re right,’ he answered finally, his tone thoughtful. ‘You’re nothing like the woman my father wanted me to marry. You’re a hundred times better.’
‘What?’ She raised her eyes back to his.
‘What lady of thetoncould have offered me so much advice and practical support today?’ He gave a soft laugh. ‘I admit I was furious about our marriage at first, but now I’m glad we were compromised. From the moment I inherited my title, my whole life became about order and restraint and tradition. When I went to London the first time this year, I was the man my fatherraised me to be, another version of him, cold and unfeeling and hard. And I would have carried on that way, doing everything the way it had always been done, marrying Miss Wadlow, following Sewell’s advice, living in a cage, no matter what I really wanted.’
‘A cage?’
‘That’s how it felt. I could see out, but I didn’t know how to escape, how to live the life I really wanted. With you.’ He lifted a hand, gently caressing the side of her face. ‘I didn’t realise it at the time, but I think I fell in love with you the first time we met.’
‘But…’ she felt stunned ‘…you were courting Amabel.’
‘Yes.’ He made a face. ‘I admit, the fact that you were friends gave me pause, but I also knew she was exactly the kind of woman my father would have chosen for me, so I convinced myself that my attraction to you didn’t matter. I thought I could ignore it.’
‘That’s…’
‘Deluded? Crazy? I know. Then we were compromised and I was so angry and resentful, I didn’t even notice that the door of my cage had just sprung open. Instead, I was rude and hurtful and ungentlemanly, for which I’m deeply sorry.’ He made a rueful expression. ‘You know, marrying you was the first time I ever disobeyed my father’s instructions, and once I’d done that and the sky didn’t fall on my head, I started doing other things. I came home and ordered a herd of cows.’ His lips curved. ‘I’ve been disregarding his letter ever since our wedding day because, despite everything, you gave me the confidence to try new things, to make changes and be myself. And since we came back here the second time, you’ve made this whole house better. Even now, you’re chasing away the shadows and turning it into a home. So don’t say you don’t belong, Florence, because you do. We belong here together.’
‘How can you be sure?’ Her voice cracked. As much as she wanted to believe him, it seemed too good to be true. ‘What if this is a mistake and it all goes wrong, like your father said it would?’
‘Then at least I’ll have chosen my own path.’ He smoothed his thumb across her cheek. ‘And this—us—isn’t a mistake, I already know that. I’m not just making the best of things any more. I want this. I want you.’
‘I want you too, but there’s still a whole month that I can’t remember. What if I did something even worse than tricking you into marriage?’
‘Such as?’
She dipped her head evasively. ‘I don’t know, but now I know what I’m capable of, I’m frightened that maybe there’s more, and until I remember the whole truth about myself—’
‘The truth is that we’ve both made mistakes,’ he interrupted her. ‘All I need to know is who you are now. Today. That’s enough.’
She caught her breath as he cupped her face in his hands, the expression in his eyes making her heart melt. Now was the time to tell him about the love letters, but there was still no proof they were hers. And if he meant what he said, about this moment’s being enough, then maybe she could finally let them go, throw them into the fire and forget about them once and for all…
‘Do you truly mean that?’ Her insides were swirling again, the way they had been that morning when he’d saidLater… And suddenly, with every fibre of her being, she really wanted that to benow.
‘Yes.’ He slipped a hand around the nape of her neck, drawing her face towards him and touching his lips to hers. ‘I do.’
Chapter Nineteen
‘Leo…’ Florence murmured, letting the past melt away as she slid her hands over his shoulders and opened her mouth to his. And then the rest of the world seemed to fade away too and there was only the two of them as her senses unravelled and something clicked into place in both her head and her heart. He was right, this was where she belonged, no matter what anyone else said—or wrote. This was what she wanted too, this sense of shared understanding and closeness with him.
He wrapped his hands around her waist, lifting her up and over his lap, deepening the kiss as she settled her legs on either side of his thighs. It felt so intimate, so shockingly new and exciting, she couldn’t hold back a moan from escaping her throat.
‘Can I take this off?’ He bunched his hands in the fabric of her dress, his voice a rough scrape of sound that sent tingles of vibration along all her limbs.
‘Yes.’ She pulled back, lifting her arms for him to draw it over her head.
‘I’ve been thinking about this all day, ever since I saw you in that nightdress.’ He moved his lips to her ear, touching the lobe softly with his tongue. ‘I wanted to carry you to bed right there and then.’
She sucked in a breath, glancing towards the door at the mention of bed. ‘Should we go…?’
‘If you want.’ A wicked smile spread across his face. ‘Although these cushions look quite comfortable. It’s up to you.’
‘Oh…’ She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, feeling as if a fire had just ignited inside her, shooting hot sparks along every nerve… ‘In that case… I think I like it here.’
