This was a disaster, as always,Luke thought as he wound his way between the tables, avoiding eye contact with the other doctors.
The speech came with a free room at the hotel, which Luke planned to use. He could have gone home and slept in his own bed, but he preferred to stay away from home. It was easier — less quiet. He could keep away from the ghosts better, which was also why he often slept in on-call rooms instead of at home. He wasn’t interested in joining the endless networking sessions, though. He’d eat a quick dinner, then head to the bar to relax.
Sitting down at his assigned seat, Luke dug into the main course that had just been brought out — a plate of salmon with garlicky rice and salad. It was simple but excellent, and Luke savored every bite. At least the food was good.
Maybe that’s enough,he thought.Maybe a good meal will make this worth it.But Luke knew that just wasn’t enough. He could have saved half a dozen lives in the ER during this time, at least, if he hadn’t already been exhausted from his long shift. His tiredness was the only thing that kept him from rushing back to the ER now. He knew that tired doctors made mistakes, and he didn’t want to be one of those doctors.
“How’s your food?” the doctor sitting next to Luke asked.
“Good.” Luke looked down at his plate. He had no interest in chatting with any of the doctors here. He just wanted to eat, take some time on his own, and go to sleep.
“I heard dessert is some kind of red velvet cake,” the other doctor continued. She stuck out her hand. “I’m Mindy Thompson from Westleigh, LA.”
Luke didn’t take her hand. He knew he was being rude, but he didn’t care. He just inclined his head.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Luke Porter, Willamette Hospital.”
“Well, Luke Porter, I enjoyed your speech,” Mindy said. “I’m an OB, but I’m always interested in trauma.”
“Hmm.” Luke took another bite of his food.
“So, you interned at the Mayo Clinic?” Mindy continued, seemingly not put off by his lack of interest in the conversation. “Rochester, Minnesota, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Cold winters, I hear. Not like Portland or LA, where we get plenty of sun!”
“Hmm.”
“You must have been glad to leave!”
Suddenly, Luke remembered leaving Minnesota. It had been nighttime when he’d driven away, alone. Each restaurant he passed, each supermarket, each bowling alley had brought memories rushing back, memories that threatened to crush his heart. It had been a relief to leave Minnesota, but not because of the cold.
He didn’t answer, but he knew his face had gone pale with the memory. Perhaps Mindy finally got the point, or perhaps she saw the look on his face, because she turned to the doctor on her other side and struck up another conversation. Luke focused on his meal, trying to shake off memories of the past. Memories that threatened to keep him trapped, forever.
CHAPTER 4
BELLA
Bella was hardly listening to any of the talks. She was far too focused on the trays of food in her hands — until the handsome doctor came onto the stage. He looked less put-together than the others, with slightly messy hair and his suit jacket askew. Unlike the others, it didn’t seem like he’d stared in a mirror for hours while getting ready, and she appreciated that.
He had brown hair, short but not too short, and gray-blue eyes. His suit was tailored around his tall, strong frame, and he looked confident in front of everyone, as though he did this kind of thing every day.
What Bella appreciated most, though, was that he used actual words instead of jargon. She could follow what he was saying, about relying on help and looking at the facts to make decisions. It actually made sense, and she might try to use some of the principles in her own work.
Bella must have looked a moment too long, because she caught her foot on the edge of a chair leg and spilled a little of the sauce she was carrying down her shirt. Blushing with embarrassment,she pulled her gaze away from the doctor at the front and hurried to put down the rest of her dishes.
Spilling food on herself was great. Just great. In a day where everything had already gone wrong, it was just what she needed. All thoughts of the handsome doctor evaporated.
Bella hurried back to the kitchen, where she cleaned up — luckily, the sauce shouldn’t stain if she soaked it in cold water soon, but it did leave a mark on her top. Then she dished up the desserts and went back out to serve again. The handsome doctor had finished his talk while she was gone, and an older doctor with gray hair and glasses was now saying something in medical jargon again.
Bella served the desserts, then returned to the kitchen to clean up. A mound of dishes had formed a precarious pile by the sink while she’d been running around putting out fires — mostly metaphorical ones — and she needed to get started. All she wanted was to sit down for five minutes to catch her breath, but she didn’t have time for that. She never did. So, instead, she began loading dishes onto the tray.
As Bella washed the first round of pots, she reflected on how badly this had all gone. She’d been so well prepared and so excited, but she’d still messed up, and everything had almost fallen apart. Bella wasn’t sure she could do another event this size, which was very disappointing.
She could hire help, but then she’d have to rely on people who could get the stomach flu or just not show up. No, she just needed to find a way to be better all on her own. She could do it. She always did. And shewoulddo more events like this — she just needed a better plan. If she worked hard enough, it would be fine.
Thirty minutes later, Bella had run all the dishes through the industrial dishwasher and put them away. Usually, she’d go straight home, but this disaster of a day meant that she deserved a drink. She needed to relax a little and try to move past everything that had gone wrong.
