Tears formed in her eyes as she rubbed her stomach.
“Come on, baby. It’s okay. We have time.”
But Bella wasn’t so sure about that anymore. Labor was very intense, more than she’d expected, and she felt incredibly alone. What if Luke didn’t get her message? What if he didn’t come?
What if she really had to do this all alone?
Taking slow breaths, she rocked back and forth, singing to herself quietly. All she needed to do was stay calm.
At that moment, she remembered Luke’s speech at the conference, about trusting others and working quickly on the most urgent things. She would trust Luke. She had to. Even though he didn’t care about her as more than a co-parent, he would come and make sure she and the baby were safe. And in the meantime, she would work quickly on the most urgent things.
So, carefully and steadily, Bella hauled herself to her feet and went into the bathroom to fill the bathtub with water and get some towels. Then she lay down on her side on the hallway carpet by the bathroom, where there was space, and practiced her breathing exercises. The bed might have been more comfortable, but she was in too much pain to get there.
Whatever came next, she would stay calm. She would try to be ready. And she would trust that Luke, no matter how upset he was, would come to her and help.
CHAPTER 22
LUKE
“And once more, let’s get some suction,” Luke said calmly, nodding to Jimenez, who was assisting. Jimenez cleared the field, and Luke inspected the opening, making sure everything was as it should be.
“Can you close?” Luke asked Jimenez as he stepped back from the table.
“Of course, Doctor Porter. Five-zero Vicryl.”
As Jimenez sewed up the patient, who’d been in a car accident and who Luke had worked on since he’d arrived, Luke went into the scrub room and stripped off his surgical gown and gloves. He felt better now that he was at work. Despite the chaos of the ER and the adrenaline of emergency surgeries, he was more in control here. There was still life and death, but the life and death were in his hands. He could use his skills as a doctor to save the lives of people he’d never met before. It wasn’t like his fear of losing Bella, which was completely out of his hands.
Despite his newfound calm, though, Luke felt bad for how he’d left things with Bella. He remembered the look of shock and hurton her face as he’d told her that he didn’t want to be anything more than her co-parent.
Luke hadn’t meant to say any of that. He’d meant to calmly explain that they needed to take a step back so that he could come to terms with his fears. And instead, he’d told her he didn’t want anything to do with her. That wasn’t true. He still wanted to be with Bella, but his fear of losing her was too great now. If anything happened to her or the baby, he’d never forgive himself.
Still, he should check in with her and clarify that he hadn’t meant that he didn’t want to spend time with her anymore. As long as they were friends and co-parents, not romantically involved, he could keep his fears of losing her at bay. Or at least he hoped he could.
“Hey, Luke.” Marco passed by in the hallway, wearing his usual shirt and tie beneath his lab coat. “You aren’t scheduled to work today.”
“I know, but I…” Luke trailed off. He couldn’t say that he needed this, even though he did. He didn’t want to need his work anymore.
“Well, we’re always happy to have you.” Marco continued down the hall, then turned and looked back at Luke. “Is everything okay at home? With your girlfriend?”
“Bella?” Luke asked. He’d never thought of her as his girlfriend. She was somehow much more than that and always had been, from the moment he’d met her. “She’s fine.”
“Good. I just know that sometimes doctors run away from their problems at home by coming into the hospital.” Marco smiled kindly. “I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
“Thanks,” Luke replied uncertainly. He watched Marco go before turning away and heading in the opposite direction. Marco’s concern was… nice? And he might have a point. Lukewasrunning away from his feelings by coming here. Maybe he should check on how things were going with Bella. She was probably feeling upset after this morning’s conversation, too.
Guilt flared in Luke’s stomach. He’d been unnecessarily abrupt with her. He should apologize for that, at least.
Luke took his phone out of his pocket and checked for new messages. Sure enough, there were two voicemails from Bella, from about an hour ago. He clicked on the first one and was about to listen when an intern rushed by, out of breath.
“Everything okay?” Luke asked.
“There’s a new trauma coming in.”
Luke pocketed his phone and hurried after the intern. Already he was thinking of what the trauma might be and how he could help. Trauma room two was free…
Just before he stepped into the ER, though, he paused. The other doctors could handle this, at least for a few minutes. He wasn’t even scheduled to be here. So, instead of rushing into the ER, he stepped into a side hallway to listen to the message.
“Luke,” Bella said, sounding out of breath and scared, “I know we just fought, but I need you. The baby needs you. I’m in labor, I think. Can you come home?”
