Luke knew he was being ridiculous. Staying away wouldn’t keep Bella and the baby any safer. And it wouldn’t make him love them any less. Yet every time he thought of Bella’s laugh or imagined their baby’s tiny face with her green eyes, his heart started to race. Being near her right now would be too much.
He needed a little space to figure out what to do. That was all.
He completely forgot what he’d wanted to talk about with Bella that afternoon, about how he’d wanted a deeper relationship — to be more than just co-parents. In fact, deepening their relationship was the last thing on his mind right now. Her safety, and the baby’s, was the only thing that mattered.
CHAPTER 21
BELLA
Bella had dinner ready to serve, fried rice and kung pao chicken with a side of garlic broccoli, all homemade and some of Luke’s favorites, when the text came. He wasn’t coming home for dinner. Bella tried to ignore the way her heart clenched. Luke often had to work through dinner, though it had happened less and less recently, and usually she had some warning.
It was fine. It didn’t matter.
She couldn’t forget how Luke’s eyes had widened with fear at the OB appointment, though. He’d said it was fine, but she was suresomethingwas wrong. Not with the baby or her — he would have said if that was it. But something was wrong with him. Maybe he missed Jenna. Maybe this all felt like too much, too fast. Maybe he didn’t feel prepared to be a father. But whatever it was, Bella hoped he could come home so they could talk things through together.
But Luke didn’t come home. Bella ate dinner alone, spent a little while catching up on emails and chatting with Stacy, then went to bed. As she read and tried to fall asleep, she listened for thesound of Luke opening the front door and coming upstairs to say goodnight, but it never happened. Eventually, she fell asleep. It was the first time in weeks, months maybe, that she’d fallen asleep without Luke coming to check on her first.
The next morning, Bella woke at her usual time and went through her slow morning routine — slow because she was very, very pregnant. As she brushed her teeth, the baby kicked against her stomach and stretched, and Bella smiled.
“It’s getting tight in there, huh?” she asked. The baby kicked in response, and she smoothed her hand over her stomach. Their son was getting ready to come out. She was ready, too. She just hoped Luke would come around.
On the way downstairs, she saw that Luke’s door was open, and his bed was still empty and made. He’d not come home. Heart heavy, she went to the kitchen — and there Luke was. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and he looked tired. He already had a coffee in his hands, and he was leaning against the counter with a faraway look in his eyes. Bella crossed to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“You’re home.”
He turned to her, his expression unreadable. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah. Did you?” Bella bit her lip. “You never came home. Was your shift that busy?”
“It was. How’s the baby? You aren’t having any pain, are you?”
Bella’s brow furrowed now. “No, I’m fine. Do you know something I don’t? Was there a problem on the scan?” Her heart began to race, but Luke shook his head.
“No, nothing like that. The baby’s fine.”
“Good.” She smiled as she went to make her tea. “You’ll be home today, right?”
“No, I have to go back in.” He drained his coffee mug and went to the sink to wash it. “I just wanted to come home and check on you.”
“I’m confused.” Bella poured hot water into her own mug, not looking back at Luke. “I thought that if you stay overnight, you get the next day off.”
“Work is busy!” Luke snapped. Bella flinched. She turned to him, her eyes narrowing and her hands going to her hips.
“Listen, you’ve been acting weird. Really weird. Disappearing to work, freaking out at the OB appointment, now not talking to me. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Luke’s tone was abrupt. He started for the door, but Bella caught his arm.
“Hey. Talk to me. I know you might be scared or overwhelmed or something, but it’s okay. Whatever this is, we can figure it out together.”
“Do you want to know?” Luke turned back to her, his eyes flashing. “Do you really want to know?”
“I do,” Bella said softly, hoping her quiet and calm tone would help him feel calmer, too.
“It’s you,” Luke said. “It’s us. We’ve been blurring the lines a lot, and it needs to stop. I’m ready to be a co-parent, but that’s it. No more dinners out at fancy restaurants, or exploring the city,or sharing our thoughts and feelings. I don’t want to be anything more than co-parents. Do you get that?”
Bella recoiled at the force in his tone and at his hurtful words, but she did her best to keep her face neutral.
“I never said I wanted to be anything more than co-parents,” she said quickly, ignoring the ache in her heart. Even though she hadn’t said it, she’d daydreamed of being a real family. She’d daydreamed of kissing Luke. Maybe she’d been too obvious about it and made him uncomfortable — but it had seemed like he wanted the same things, too. When he’d invited her out to lunch the day before, she’d even thought he was going to talk about their future together. But maybe he’d just wanted to say that they needed to keep more distance.
