“Sure.” Bella smiled at him. “That’d be nice. It might be our last day with just the two of us before the baby comes.”
“Probably not, though. First pregnancies often deliver after the due date.”
“Ugh.” Bella sighed. “Don’t tell me that. I’m ready to be holding a cute little baby in my arms instead of feeling so heavy and huge all the time.”
“I get that.” Luke finished his toast. “Come on. We’d better get ready.”
“True. It’ll take me half an hour to waddle upstairs and get dressed.” Bella rolled her eyes and held out her hands so Luke could pull her to her feet.
“Can I help?” he asked.
“No, I’ve got it. Just wait for me.”
Bella headed down the hall and towards the stairs while Luke cleaned up the breakfast things. Twenty minutes later, she was back, wearing a long skirt and a blouse with her hair braided. She looked beautiful and very, very pregnant.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
They went out to the car, where Luke helped her in and closed the door for her. As they drove to the hospital, Bella turned on the radio, changing the station from Luke’s preferred NPR to a pop station and singing along with the windows rolled down. Her braid whipped around in the wind, and she played drums on her knees. She looked so happy. Luke glanced at her, taking a mental snapshot of the moment.
At the hospital, he helped her out of the car and offered her his arm, which she took. They went inside sedately and took the elevator up to the floor where OB was. A few of Luke’s colleagues greeted them, and they smiled and said hellos back. As they went, Luke realized that over the past few months, his colleagues had become more like friends, which was a worrying thought. A year ago, none of them had called out to him by his first name or wished him well on the way by. His walls really were crumbling.
Their OB, Doctor Olivia Mendez, was ready for them almost right away. She ushered them back, going through the usual small talk as Bella climbed onto the table and pulled up her shirt for the ultrasound. She held out her hand to Luke and he took it, as he always did at their appointments.
“There you go,” Olivia said, pointing to the gray-scale image on the screen. “That’s your baby.”
“Wow.” Bella leaned in to look at the screen. “It kind of looks like a real baby now, instead of like an alien.”
Olivia chuckled. “True. Baby’s almost ready to come out, so that’s a good thing. Do you have a name picked out?”
Bella and Luke exchanged a glance. “Not yet.” They’d spent a lot of time brainstorming but little time actually picking something.
“Well, you’d better get on it.” Olivia smiled at them. “As Luke here knows, babies don’t often come on their due dates. You can expect to go into labor anytime from now to a month from now.”
“Another month of pregnancy?” Bella groaned. “I love this baby, but I swear, I’m as big as a house.”
Olivia gave her another sympathetic smile. “I know how you feel. But believe me, everything is looking great. Just pick out a name,finish up the nursery — or whatever you still need to do — then relax and try not to think about it. He’ll come out when he’s ready.”
“And it could be tomorrow?” Luke asked. His voice came out a little strained, and Bella flashed him a concerned look, her brow furrowed.
“It could be,” Olivia agreed. “Or it could be a month from now. Don’t worry about it. You guys will be ready, whenever it happens.”
Luke’s heart began to race, and he forced himself to take a deep breath. They could have a baby any day now. A tiny, fragile baby in need of protection and love.
In that moment, the truth hit Luke with the force of a freight train. He loved Bella. He loved their baby. And no matter what he did — or didn’t do — he could lose them both in a fraction of a second. As safe as labor was nowadays, things could still go wrong. Bella could have a bleed. The baby could be born unable to breathe.
Now Luke was unable to breathe. The thought of losing them, either of them, was too much to bear. When he felt like this, he always reassured himself that Bella was okay, but what if she wasn’t always?
“Are you okay?” Bella asked softly, squeezing his hand.
“Yes.” Luke managed a stiff nod. “I’m fine.” He couldn’t even look at her. What if something went wrong? What if he lost her? What if they lost their baby? He would never recover.
For years, he’d kept his life neat and separate and independent to avoid feeling like this. But now, all he could think of wasseeing Jenna in the hospital after the accident, her face bruised, her heart no longer beating. His own heart raced and his palms were clammy, enough that he released Bella’s hand so she wouldn’t notice. This was all too much. Way too much.
“Luke?” Bella asked again. The worry was clearly audible in her voice.
“I’m fine,” he repeated. He managed a smile. “I’m just thinking of all the things we need to do before the baby comes.”
