I balked as my chest tightened.
I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still threw me. My mind went straight to Cash. Even with us not speaking, he still occupied the corners of my thoughts.
Marcus represented an entire era of my life I’d put behind me. Before my pre-frontal cortex really developed—when I was outside, young, dumb, and running off emotion. I fell for his potential and the fantasy he painted of money, trips, and buying me whatever. All that got old real fast once I realized he was too deep in street life, and I wasn’t tryna be nobody’s ride or die. I needed stability, not constant stress and anxiety. I wasn’t built for conjugal visits or the feds kicking down my door.
And yet… here he was. A whole decade later—a whole lot finer and apparently with the money he’d always dreamed of having.
I wasn’t naive. A Maserati fresh out of prison? I already knew Marcus was still into some shit, which made him no different than Cash.
“Jas,” he said, holding out his phone. “It’s just dinner. It’s not that deep.”
“Yeah, sure,” I said, typing my address into the maps app.
This was fine.
Marcus beamed, squeezing my thigh before he reversed out the spot. I leaned my head against the window, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that came with his touch.
* * *
“Ooh! Where you going?” Amber asked when I picked her FaceTime.
I spun one last time in the mirror, looking over my outfit. “Out.”
“With your boo Cash?”
“With Marcus, actually,” I said, chewing on lip as I waited to see her reaction.
Amber’s face bunched up. “NottheeMarcus Stokes. Y’all having some video jail date?”
I laughed, sitting on the edge of my bed. “Friend, so much has happened in these past two weeks. I been meaning to call you, but all I want to do after work is sleep.”
“Uh, yeah. Because last time we spoke you were dressed in Versace going on a date with Cash.”
I gave her the quick run down of events up to my car being vandalized.
“I can’t believe you didn’t call me!” Amber said when I was finished.
“I know, I know. I’ve just been so overwhelmed. I’m blown that I’m gonna have to dip into my savings to fix my car, but I guess I should be grateful I have it, right?”
“Yeah, still sucks though. I can’t believe Marcus is out. Donny didn’t mention it to me.”
Donny was Amber’s older brother who introduced me to Marcus, they used to hustle together back in the day.
I shrugged. “Maybe he’s keeping his word and keeping my hands clean.”
Amber clicked her tongue. “Barely. I don’t even think that truck company he works for is completely legit, but I mind the business that pays me.”
“True,” I said, applying another coat of lipgloss.
“So you and Marcus, huh? You think you’d give you guys another shot?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even really want to go out with him. The physical attraction is still there, but something just feels off. I can’t put my finger on it.”
“Well it’s been a decade and he’s not the same person, maybe it’s that.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
A text notification popped up at the top of my screen.
