Recognition dawns, followed by laughter so hearty his frail frame shakes. The sight of it fills me with warmth. I exaggerated for his benefit, but the bones of it are true. I just wanted to make him laugh.
When he wipes the tears from his eyes, I grin. Mission accomplished.
“I’ll never forget,” he says between chuckles. “You were insufferable that summer.”
In retrospect, I chalk it up to teenage angst. I’ve never felt anything remotely similar with another woman since. Sure, I’ve had girlfriends, some serious relationships, and breaking up was never fun or easy. But still, I don’t recall this ache at separation or the deep beat of anticipation constantly and uncomfortably drumming through my chest.
“Yeah, but this is worse.”
“Then call her. Go see her.” He dabs at his eyes with the napkin.
“See who?” Alec enters the room. The tall, striking man elegantly glides to Bas’s side and leans down to kiss him on the cheek. “Mon cher, how are you?”
His big, manicured hand cups Bas’s jaw tenderly. Bas grumbles and shrugs.
I stand and hug Alec. “I’ll get you some food.”
He stops me, hands on my shoulders, gently squeezing before I can serve him a dish. “How are you?”
Those three quiet words are filled with such meaning. We are both dealing with the same thing, the inevitable loss of such a great man. A great love in our lives. And while we have each other, we still are also alone.
“Good.” I don’t want to burden him and turn before he can read the truth on my face.
With Alec, I’m not as open as I am with Bas. I can’t explain it. It has nothing to do with the man himself. I love him and trust him with my life, have known him for as long as I’ve known Bas.
When Bas took me in, he introduced Alec to me as his husband. These two brilliant, caring, loving men adore me and raised me like a son, but I’ve always gravitated toward Bas naturally.
Things are different with Alec. I need to be strong for him, for Alec. Knowing the torment and anguish I battle whenever I think of Bas’s fate, I can only imagine what he is feeling. Bas is the love of his life. To watch your partner, your lover, your best friend dying—it must be slowly killing him too.
As I dish up, my phone lights.Olivia.
Hey handsome, how are you?
I quickly respond.
Missing you. What are you doing?
The little dots immediately light up and I smile. I didn’t miss the opportunity to speak with her.
Olivia: Just dropped my kids off at their dad’s. All alone. I’ll most likely take a bath and then bed. And you?
Me: Wish I was there to wash your back. I could keep you company. I reallylike sleepovers.
Olivia: LOL. Tempting. What are you up to?
Me: Having dinner with Bas and Alec.
Olivia: Didn’t mean to interrupt—talk tomorrow.
Me: You are never interrupting. Think of me in your dreams and the tub.
Olivia: Night, Sam.
Me: Night. Sweet dreams.
“Hey, how long do I have to wait for my meal?” Alec teases. “This restaurant has poor service.”
Chuckling, I grab his bowl and stroll to the table, my chest a little less hollow now that I’ve heard from Olivia.
