"Tommy knows everything about frogs."
"He really does."
We packed up our picnic things slowly, no one eager to leave. Sarah helped fold the blanket, her movements careful and deliberate. Then she lingered near me, shuffling her feet, picking at the zipper on her jacket.
"Emma?" Her voice was small.
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"Can I..." She stopped. Started again. "Never mind."
"What is it?"
"It's dumb."
"I bet it's not."
She shuffled some more. Picked up a pinecone, examined it intensely, and set it down. Cole had gone back to check something in his pack, giving us space—intentionally, I suspected.
"Can I call you something other than Ms. Reed?" Sarah finally asked, the words rushing out. "Or Emma?"
My heart stuttered. "What would you like to call me?"
She took a deep, fortifying breath, like she was about to jump off a diving board. "Could I maybe... call you Mom?" Before I could react, she rushed on: "Not instead of my real mom! I know I have a mommy in the stars. But like... would you be my new mom? My here-mom?"
The world went soft around the edges. My vision blurred with sudden tears.
"Sarah," I managed, my voice cracking. I dropped to my knees in the pine needles, bringing myself to her level. "I would be so honored."
"Really?"
"Really. Your first mom will always be your special, heavenly mom. Nobody can ever replace her. But I would love—" My voice broke completely. I had to take a breath before continuing. "I would love to be your here-mom. If that's what you want."
"That's what I want," she said, and threw herself into my arms.
I held her tight, this incredible, resilient, brave little girl. Her small body shook slightly, she was crying, I realized. I was crying too. Over her shoulder, I saw Cole standing a few feet away, and he was crying as well, silent tears tracking through the dust on his cheeks. His expression was so full of love that it made my chest ache.
"I love you," Sarah mumbled into my shoulder.
"I love you too, baby. So much."
"Mom," she said, testing the word. Then again, more certain: "Mom."
"Yeah?"
"Can we get ice cream on the way home?"
I laughed and pulled back to look at her dirt-streaked, tear-stained, beaming face. "Absolutely. All the ice cream."
The hike down was peaceful. My legs ached pleasantly, the good kind of tired that came from using your body. Sarah walked between us, holding both our hands, occasionally swinging forward and making us catch her. The terror that had once accompanied every step on a mountain trail was quiet, barely a whisper.
At the trailhead, as Cole loaded the packs into the truck, I pulled out my phone. My father's contact stared up at me. I'd called him weekly for months now, but this call felt different. Bigger.
He answered on the second ring. "Hey, sweetheart!"
"Dad." My voice was steady, clear. "I'm ready. I'm ready to go through Lily's things. The boxes in your garage, the ones I couldn't touch. Can you bring them next weekend?"
A long silence. When he spoke, his voice was thick. "Are you sure?"
