His head jerked back. “You defending him?”
“Yes, I am. He don't move like that. He would never tell your business because that’s not the type of man he is.”
“And you feel this way because you were fucking him?” He scoffed, hating the idea of them being intimate.
“No because I know him,” she fired back. “You need to get over this shit.”
He stood, feeling his wrath surface since Irish wasn’t taking this matter seriously.
“I got a fucking reputation, Irish. I can’t have a man that’s over me knowing my business. He can ruin me.”
“If he already knew, don't you think he would’ve been said something?”
“No, ‘cause I wasn’t standing in his way of being with you. Shit has changed. The stakes are higher. He could fuck me over, Irish. Then what?”
Shaking her head, she replied, “He wouldn’t do that.”
Jovanis expelled a deep breath. Somehow, Irish was being dense and he couldn’t stand it. “You gotta end that shit with him for the sake of our marriage.”
“Marriage?” She laughed, condescendingly. “This isn’t a marriage, Jovanis. You get to live your life while I waste away. I don't think a marriage is set up like that.”
His upper lip curled in contempt. “That nigga done got in your head.”
“No!” she yelled. “I came to my senses. You want me in your corner, supporting you and making sure you're okay, emotionally. Meanwhile, I get nothing emotionally. I don't get a chance to find love. I don't get a chance to be open to the possibility of being with another man because you're in my way.”
Stunned, her words were like a knife, and she’d just sliced Jovanis through his chest. Where was his best friend? Certainly, it couldn’t be this woman, who stared at him with such disdain. Irish had been infected by the Noble effect. He had gotten in her head, rearranging all the plans she and him had made. Now, she was speaking a different language Jovanis wasn’t fluent in. He felt left out like he was on the outside of her heart. What was once his was now gone and his heart ached at that reality.
“Listen,” he stated with desperation. “I love you, Irish, and I don't wanna lose you. Tell me what you need, and I’ll make that shit happen. We can’t let go of what we’ve built. Remember we made a pact. It’s do or die. Us against everybody. Remember?”
Her eyes watered. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Remind me of our past. You did it that day you went crazy. I don't wanna think about that, Van. Did you say that to keep me held hostage?”
Confused by what she was referring to, Jovanis jogged his memory, coming up empty.
“Oh, you don't remember? You said, ‘Me and you havedoneshit’.”
Immediately, Jovanis recalled the line, but it wasn’t what Irish thought. He never said it with the purpose to blackmail her. He would never try to do that to Irish because she knew too much of his dirt. What good would it be if he tried to keep her hostage when she knew so many of his sins?
“I would never do that to you, Irish. Look at me.” He grabbed her face. “You think I’m this bitch-ass nigga that would blackmail you? I said that to remind you of the bond we have. Never did I say that to keep you hostage or under my thumb. You know I don't even move like that.”
Jovanis released her face and started pacing back and forth. He hated the position they were in. They didn’t behave this way toward each other. They barely even argued. Jovanis needed to get them back on the same page before he lost her for good.
“Irish, listen…” He paused for a moment. “You my baby, and I love you more than any other person in this world. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m sorry if you feel that I’ve held you back. I just don't wanna lose you.”
Irish’s watery lenses peered at him. “Who said you were going to lose me?”
“What?” He scoffed. “You think someone like Noble gon’ let you stay connected to me? He’ll do everything to ensure that he’s the only man in your life.”
“Well, you don't have to worry about that.” She laid back on the bed with tears gathering on her eyes. “My situation with Noble ended, so you can go back to being self-absorbed while I continue to be lonely.”
Jovanis’ glee waited for him to acknowledge it, but Irish’s sadness needed his immediate attention. He sat back on the bed, stretching his arms on the side of her body.
“You don't need to be lonely. I’m here, and I’ll make sure to spend more time with you. We can do whatever you want to do.”
Irish glared at him but didn’t respond. Jovanis had never felt so nervous. His position in Irish’s life had been threatened, and he couldn’t fathom her not being by his side. She was his person. The one that had his heart despite his sexuality.
