“What did I do that was so bad, huh?” She flailed her fluffy arms. “Why do you treat me so bad?”
Irish shook her head and pointed at her. “Uht uh, you don't get to do that anymore.”
“Do what?”
“Act like you're a victim because you're not. You're a willing participant. In fact, you will always be the villain in my story. Right along with that piece of shit husband of yours.”
“Now you take that back!”
“Fuck you, Daisy!
Her hand flew to her chest as her mouth parted in complete devastation.
“You wanna know what I noticed, Daisy? You bring up your grief to avoid talking about the real issues between us.”
Daisy’s gaze descended toward the cluttered floor. “What are you talking about?”
“Don't play stupid. You can’t stand to discuss how you failed as a mother. So, you bring up grieving Emanuel to distract from the fact that you failed me and Ivory.”
“I tried to be there for you.”
“You didn’t do shit!” Irish screamed. “It was all me. If I didn’t have Jovanis, me and Ivory would be in the worst conditions. You let that man groom me and put all the responsibility to raise Ivory on my shoulders.”
Daisy nodded, gaze still trained on the floor. “I know you feel like I neglected you but—”
“But you did!” Irish bellowed, flinging a pile of papers on the floor. “You did and there's no way you can talk yourself out of believing that you didn’t.”
Daisy rubbed the back of her neck, displaying how uncomfortable she truly was. Irish wasn’t concerned about that though. She had been uncomfortable for years, carrying the weight of all her trauma on her own.
“I never told Emanuel to do that to you, Irish,” she whispered.
“But you didn’t stop him either. You sold me out. And for what? Money. That’s all it took for you to give me up was a few dollars.”
Daisy finally locked eyes with her. “He was a good man, Irish.”
She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. This amount of stress couldn’t have been good for her or her baby.
“And you're still taking up for him. Why does he get so much consideration and not me?”
Daisy’s silence blared so loudly. She had been so androcentric. Having a man was a dream to her. Emanuel had been worshipped like he was a religion. She’d created an altar in her heart, praising him in life and in death. Sadly, Irish didn’t get any consolation. She was thrown to the side like junk mail.
“I wasn’t prepared… I just didn’t know what I was doing when I became a mother,” she admitted. “When he said he wanted to make money with you, I thought he would keep you safe.”
“How did you think that when I told you he touched me inappropriately? Do you think a grown man touching my ass is safe? Daisy, are you this fucking dumb?”
“Okay, I’m sorry!” she screamed, balling her fists like a child. “Is that what you want? You want me to say how I failed. Well, here it is. I’m a bad mother, Irish! There, you have it.”
Irish shook her head. She didn’t know what would come out of this conversation. She imagined it would be emotional, but she never expected Daisy to take accountability for her actions.
“You know even after you abandoned me, I thought that there was an inkling of a chance that we could reconcile. The little girl inside of me still wanted that maternal love that you cut me off from.” Irish folded her arms over her chest, glancing down at a newspaper that was dated back to last year. “But as I stand here today, I can honestly say that I want nothing from you, Mama. You have given me all that you have and although it wasn’t much, you're sadly empty yourself. I don't expect youto take accountability for your actions. I don't even expect you to hold your late husband responsible. I think I’m finally at the point of feeling indifferent about you.”
“Oh, Irish, how can I make this right?” Daisy begged, clasping her puffy hands together.
“I don't wanna make things right. I just want you out of my life. I’m no longer willing to carry you. I have to look out for me now. You have to stand on your own. I can’t help you anymore.”
“Irish no, okay! I’ll say it. I failed you and Ivory. I couldn’t face you after Emanuel died because I felt so low. That’s why I’ve hidden in this house for the last twenty years. All I do is eat my pain away. I don't know how to get out of this. I’m sorry. It wasn’t just about Emanuel’s death even though that broke me. Just knowing that I didn’t protect you brought me so much shame. I couldn’t face you.” She wept. “How could I when I let you down? I knew the moment I talked you into going with Emanuel to the casino that I’d lost you. I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know what to say. So, yes, I avoided the hard part because I was too coward to accept that I’m a bad mother.”
Something within Irish exhaled. Not her lungs but her heart. She’d came here with the intent to end her relationship with Daisy, but what she got was acknowledgement. Daisy had finally professed how she’d dropped the ball. Irish didn’t think she needed it, but her soul felt otherwise.
