Her eyes doubled in size. “If good old Dad could see me now.” She chuckled. “Sad thing is, he probably would’ve been proud.” She was smiling, but I could tell it was only to cover up the pain his absence created.
“How’d he die?”
She looked at me for a moment, almost like she was trying to decide if she could trust me or not. She dusted off her hands and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest as if she were hugging herself.
“He died the same way he lived his life: breaking the law.” She shook her head as her eyes moved to the ceiling. “He had some kind of deal with this all-powerful crime lord.” She looked at me, completely unamused. “He and his friend, Alex’s dad, hadbeen selling for this guy. Whatever it was… guns, drugs, hell, probably people for all I know.” She shrugged. “The last deal went bad. They were supposed to meet at this warehouse for the exchange, but someone drove a car straight through the wall right in the middle of it. All hell broke loose after that.”
I felt my heart drop to my stomach.
“The dealer and his men thought my dad was trying to get away with something—like take the drugs and run—my dad thought the place was being raided and he just wanted to get the hell out of there, or so I’ve been told. Either way, both sides started shooting, fighting for their lives in the middle of all this chaos. In the commotion, my dad was shot. He was dead before they could even get him to the hospital.” She wiped the tear that formed in her eye rather than letting it fall. “And that’s why I wanted to be far away from this life. I knew if I stayed with Alex, I’d be lost to it forever.”
I suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore. I pushed my food away. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “Not your fault.”
There was a long, drawn-out silence before I finally said. “Yeah, I think the barn smell is starting to get to me, too. I’m going to go shower before my lunch comes back up.” I grabbed my fresh clothes and moved into the bathroom.
I locked the door behind me and put my hands on the sink as I hung my head. My eyes closed, and the memory washed over me.
My knuckles turned white as I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I narrowed my eyes on the warehouse in front of me, knowing what I had to do. If I wanted out, I had to put an end to it all. He wasn’t ever going to let me go. Why would he? I was too fucking good at my job. Keeping me in his clutches meant him making hundreds of thousands of dollars on a weekly basis that couldn’t be tracked by the feds. But italso meant that my life wasn’t my own. I knew how dangerous it was. I knew I could end up dead, but I didn’t care. If I were dead, at least I wouldn’t be under his control anymore.
I put my foot on the gas, and I revved the engine. The motor of the fire engine red sports car purred like a kitten. I shifted into first gear, and I let out of the clutch. The car raced forward as I worked it through the gears. I closed my eyes for the impact, but I felt the car being thrown about as I drove it through the wall of that warehouse. Twisting metal, shattering glass, and then gunshots filled my ears.
My eyes opened, and I shook that memory from my head. My eyes were watering, and I rubbed the heel of my hands against them, wiping the tears away.
How was it even fucking possible? How had our lives been so intertwined without us even realizing it?
Karma really is a bitch. The first woman I’ve ever had feelings for, and it turns out that I’m the reason her dad was killed. Poetic justice, some might say.
My old boss was a monster. I’d wanted out for a long time. I’d begged to be let free. After I was free and he was dead, I’d found a new boss.
Same shit, different day.
If she knew what I’d done, would she still be with me, or would she walk away and go in search of the life she’s always wanted? I didn’t even have to ask the question; I knew the truth.
She’d walk away. There was no fucking way she’d want to spend the rest of her life with the man who caused her to lose her father. Even if she didn’t like the way he lived his life, he was still her dad. She loved him. And I took him away from her.
Self-loathing filled my gut, and before I knew it, I was losing my lunch.
This was a whole new kind of sickness.
Chapter 15
Amelia
Ithought it was strange how quickly Oliver went from being in the middle of a conversation to practically running from the room, but then a moment later, I heard him getting sick, so I thought that maybe the fried chicken was too harsh on his stomach since he was still technically recovering from food poisoning.
I felt bad for him, and I hated that he was sick. I knew that if I had gotten food poisoning, there’s no way I would’ve been able to do all the walking that we’d done. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep on a hay bale either. I hoped that he’d just be able to get cleaned up and rest so he could start feeling better.
As I finished with my lunch, I thought about our morning and how good it felt to have him on top of me. Neither of us had mentioned what was going on between us, and I was beginning to think it was because neither of us really knew how to deal with it.
I had just left a shitty relationship, and looking for love was the last thing on my mind. I didn’t know much about him, but he didn’t seem like the relationship type of guy. Maybe I was judging based on stereotypes, but he was so good-looking that he would’ve been the player in any romantic comedy.
I thought that maybe the draw we had to one another wasn’t really about love at all. Maybe it was just because we were the only two people on the planet who knew the challenges we were up against. We could relate to one another in a way no one else could. That, and well… he was obviously attracted to me and I to him.
I’d always heard that a guy and a girl couldn’t be just friends, and I thought that was a bunch of crap because I’d had many guy friends over the years. But then I realized that a guy and a girl who were attracted to one another couldn’t be just friends. That attraction always becomes too strong to resist. All it took was a longing look, a soft brush of his lips against mine, and I was a goner.
I finished my lunch and cleaned up our mess, taking everything outside so he wouldn’t smell it and get sick again. When he left the bathroom, he said he was going to catch a quick nap, then lay down and fell asleep before I could even reply.
