Please don’t make me think that this is anything even close to real and confuse me and make me screw up my entire life just when I’ve finally got it together.
I hold his piercing gaze. If I were single, wow, would this be a moment.
I’d tell him how much he meant to me, wrap my arms around him and press myself against him, inhale his scent, run my fingers through his hair. I’m close enough to feel the warmth emanating from his body. My breath hitches; it’s difficult to contain the desire that courses through my veins when he’s so close, like now. The way his touch electrifies my skin, the way we complement each other – it’s impossible to ignore our chemistry.
My eyes flicker down to his lips, and I watch as he bites them softly with anticipation. It takes everything in me to resist kissing him right now, right here, to finally give in to what I know has been stirring from the moment I saw him in The Fox.And I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that it might be the same for him.
We’re both caught in this moment and hyper-aware of the tension between us. I know I have to do something before it becomes too intense for me to handle. Before I make an irreversible mistake.
I can’t. I won’t. I couldn’t… It’s not fair to Ash. It’s not fair to anyone.
I jump up from my seat and walk away with my back turned towards him, pretending to busy myself with anything else besides him.
As Kayla and I step into the Lake House dining room, a wave of warmth and light embraces us both. She turns to me, gobsmacked. This is the first time since Kayla has been ill that she’s seen the place in its full glory.
I can see the awe in her eyes as she takes in the beautifully decorated space, her hand holding on to mine tightly. I can’t help but smile, knowing that this is all because of our hard work.
‘Wow,’ Kayla breathes, her voice filled with wonder. ‘It’s so beautiful.’
‘It really is,’ I reply, squeezing her hand affectionately. ‘And it’s all thanks to everyone here.’
The scent of home-cooked food lingers in the air, and flickering candles add a soft glow to the long table set with delicate vases filled with wildflowers and crisp linens. Friends, both familiar and new, surround the table, joyfully chattering as James presents an Irish feast: honey-and-mustard-glazed ham, buttery mash potatoes, stew, fresh carrots and peas from his garden – each dish garnished with love and care.
We take our seats, and I can feel the excitement in the air. Everyone is chatting and laughing, sharing stories about theirtime at the Lake House. The food is passed around, each dish more delicious than the last. I can see Kayla taking small bites of everything, putting on a brave face despite still feeling under par.
As we enjoy the lavish meal, my eyes can’t help but drift to the man across from me, the one who made all this happen. Amidst the hearty conversation and playful banter, his presence feels like the gravity that keeps us all grounded. If I’m being fully honest with myself, I’ve been feeling an intense pull towards James since our first encounter, and my friendship with him is something that’s grown deeper than I ever expected. His company has been a bright spot in my life here in Innisfree, and I’ve loved all the moments we’ve shared together. It’s like he sees the real me, the person behind the doubts and fears. He makes me feel like I’m enough, just as I am. And I see the same in him. I’ve been realising that my feelings for him are more than just platonic, and my reluctance to leave the Lake House has just as much to do with James as the property itself.
As I watch the laughter and friendship zigzag across the table, my heart fills with joy, while the unknown territory of my feelings for James brews a subtle cocktail of confusion and anxiety and, of course, guilt over Ash. Believe me, I didn’t set out to feel this way. It’s what I do with these feelings that matters. I daren’t even speakto Kayla about this. I was hoping that the feelings would go away, but instead they’re only becoming more intense and harder to ignore.
Suddenly, a hush falls over the room as James stands up, a glass of wine in his hand. He clears his throat and raises his glass, looking around the table with a smile.
‘I just wanted to say a few words,’ he begins, his voice carrying through the room. ‘You all have made this project so much more than just a job. You’ve all become friends, and Icouldn’t be more grateful for that. This isn’t just a beautiful space; it’s a space filled with memories and laughter and love.’
There’s a murmur of agreement from the group, and I can see tears in Kayla’s eyes as she listens to James’ heartfelt words. This place has become more than just a project for all of us – it’s become a home.
‘To the Lake House,’ James says, raising his glass high. ‘May it always be a place of love, friendship and happiness. And to Mick, who made it all possible.’
The whole group raises their glasses, echoing James’ words with resounding cheer. I take a sip of my wine, feeling a sense of contentment wash over me. This is where I belong, amongst friends and loved ones, building a future filled with laughter and joy. I look over at Kayla, who’s smiling through her tears, and I know that this is exactly where we’re meant to be. I just don’t know how realistic it is to even think this way.
Actually, I do. Completely unrealistic. Nobody should capsize their life after a few weeks away from home. I’m sure they even teach that in schools.
After dinner, we move out to a massive campfire that Finn and Liam have lit. Grace and her friends pull out their instruments – guitars, fiddles and even a borrowed accordion. Grace strums away and happily takes requests as Fintan belts out much-loved favourites, and Dom and Jacinta dance together, holding their hands high in an old set dance. Kayla whoops and claps, wrapped in a blanket, giving herself a night off from high kicks and what can only be described as ‘interpretive jigging’. The music and wine weave a magical web around us, filling the night with a sense of camaraderie and comfort I’ve never experienced before. Despite the simple beauty of the moment, however, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by a sense of impending sadness. As we share stories and laughin unison, I find myself desperate for time to slow down so I can stay here forever.
James and I sit side by side, sharing a blanket to ward off the chill of the night air, mesmerised by the orange glow and dancing sparks before us. The warmth of the blaze adds a deeper hue to the silvery moonlight, and for a moment I’m sure I can feel my heart swell with the sheer beauty of it all.
James turns to me and smiles. ‘You did it,’ he says softly.
There’s a beat before I reply, my throat tight with emotion. ‘Wedid it,’ I finally whisper.
A glance between us hints at the unspoken bond that’s been growing ever since I set foot here in Innisfree. Aching with bittersweet sadness, I know our time is up.
The stars twinkle in the night sky, like a million eyes watching us from above.
‘You’re something special,’ he whispers, his blue eyes piercing into mine with undeniable longing. ‘I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye. I wish you weren’t heading back to London.’
My breath hitches as I feel emotions swell up and threaten to overflow. Reaching out, I place my hand in his, feeling the strength of his calloused fingers intertwined with mine. I can’t help myself. It was as natural and as sudden as a reflex. For a moment, time stands still. I know I won’t be able to forget this night or the way it makes me feel.
As the moon slowly inches across the sky, James’ thumb grazes gently against my knuckles and I feel an overwhelming warmth flow through me. It’s everything I want and yet… I can’t. This isn’t right. It isn’t fair. It’s not to be.
