I stood there completely out of my depth. I’d dated guys before. I’d even gone out of town with one of them, but I’d never stayed in some place this fancy.
“Ready?” Stewart came back with the key to our room. I nodded, still taking in the place.
The elevator was just as nice as the lobby, and when we got off on the third floor, I followed him to our room. He scanned the key card, then held the door open for me to walk in first.
My breath caught as my eyes moved around the space. The halls were a delicious pale color that accented the deep wood furniture perfectly. The bed had to be a king cause it took up the majority of the room. Beyond it, there was a checkered chair that sat next to a floor to ceiling wall of windows and a desk with a chair that looked more like it belonged in a dining room than in a hotel. There was even a chandelier on the ceiling.
“This is too much.” I continued through the door.
“Nonsense.” He put our bags down on the bench I had missed. It was sitting beside a door that I assumed went to the bathroom.
“We are only here for one night.” He wrapped his arms around me from behind. “We might as well make the most of it.”
“I guess you’re right.” I leaned back into him.
“Are you hungry?” He swayed us side to side.
“Not yet.” We had picked up a couple slices of pizza before leaving the mall. We also had our leftovers from lunch, so we didn’t need to worry about starving.
“Do you want to change?”
“Um, sure.” Why was I so nervous? It wasn’t like I was some starry-eyed virgin. And we agreed not to have sex tonight. I should be able to relax.
“We could always watch a movie.” Stewart suggested. “Or we could go sit by the fire pit. We don’t have to stay in here if it’s too much pressure.”
“It’s not that.” I stepped away from him and went to sit on the side of the bed. Of course, it was like sitting on a cloud.
“Then what is it?” He sat down in front of me.
If we were going to do this, then he needed to know what he was getting into. I lifted the bottom of my shirt.
“Baby.” He reached out to stop me. “I told you we don’t have to rush.”
“That isn’t it.” I kept going until the shirt was gathered under my breasts. Stewart’s eyes zeroed in on the mangled scars on the side of my body. The scars I pretend don’t exist.
“What happened?” His hand skimmed my stomach.
“When you looked up my history of playing basketball, did you notice I stopped after my sophomore year?” I wasn’t looking his direction. I had my eyes on the view of the city below us.
“Yes.”
“I had a friend too.” I let go of my shirt, thinking about the friend who he told me about. The one who wanted to join the Air Force. “My friend loved to ski. She was always inviting me to come out on the mountain with her and her family. I told her that I didn’t ski, but she promised to teach me.” I’d been so stupid back then. Stupid and cocky.
“I agreed one weekend. I didn’t know a bunny hill from a black diamond.” I shook my head. “There was no way that I understood she was taking me up higher than she should have in order to teach me. We started off fine. I was really getting it and, surprisingly, having fun. Then another skier bumped into me, and I lost control. I went flying down the mountain. She followed screaming directions at me, but it didn’t help. Needless to say, I’m lucky to be alive.” I closed my eyes remembering being airlifted off the side of the mountain and to the nearest hospital.
“It was one of the only times my mother came back up here after the divorce. The second time was when I graduated.” I skipped the grueling details. No one needed to relive that. “My dad had me transferred out here to the base hospital. He was retired, but he was able to get it done since I was still a dependent. It took six surgeries to make sure I wasn’t paralyzed and a year and a half of physical therapy to walk normally again, let alone run. All my dreams of playing professionally vanished.”
“Rita.” He leaned down, and I felt his lips touch my skin. I’d been able to hold back the tears, but that touch opened the floodgates.
“Things got bad.” I needed to keep going. “I didn’t want to do anything. I was already majoring in psychology, so I knew I was depressed, but I couldn’t pull myself out of it. I wasn’t sleeping. When I did, all I did was have nightmares. I wasn’t eating. Any time someone mentioned the accident or school, I lost it.”
“PTSD,” he whispered.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“It took a lot of therapy and conversations to pull myself back together. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping others. I know what it’s like to be in that space and not feel like you can get out.”
“After I came back to school, I focused all my energy on my degree and still managed to graduate on time.” I opened my eyes and looked into his. “That’s why I can’t lose my license. Like you, I care about my patients too much to take that chance. This is my purpose. I truly believe it’s the reason I didn’t die on that mountain.”
