“What about your mom?”
“She lives back in Louisiana. She wouldn’t step foot back in Colorado, or any cold climate state, if you paid her.”
“Do you have any siblings?” I asked.
“I have a half-brother.” She shared. “He’s in the service too.”
“Ranger?”
“No, he is Air Force.”
“Is he stationed here?”
She shook her head. “He’s in Japan. We don’t see each other that often, but we didn’t really grow up together, so it’s cool.”
That meant she was here all alone. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She turned back to me. “This isn’t about me anyway. We are supposed to be getting you back on track.”
“I’m fine.” I couldn’t resist putting my hand on her shoulder. I let it slide down her arm until I reached her hand and took hold. “I’m more interested in how you are doing.”
“Don’t.” She backed away. “I told you before. I won’t be manipulated into signing your paper so you can get back to work before you’re ready. I won’t put someone’s life in jeopardy because you don’t want to open up.”
I staggered back. “You think I would put someone’s life on the line?”
“You’re the one trying to use seduction to get back in uniform.” She raised her eyebrow. “Trying to entice me into signing your form.”
“Fuck the form.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I would never put my guys' lives on the line just to get back in the uniform. As it is, I already feel guilty enough for…” I paused and rubbed at my chest.
“For what?” Her voice softened.
“It doesn’t matter.” I paced over to the other side of the room. “And I’m not trying to seduce you into anything. I’m sorry I thought being kind and attracted to someone was a good thing. My bad.”
Rita stayed next to the drinks, not saying a word. When she spoke up, I almost wished she hadn’t.
“Have you noticed you touch your chest every time you get agitated?”
“What?”
“You touch your chest, and your hand shakes some.” She continued.
I shook my head. “How do you do that?” I asked. “How do you just turn everything off and switch to doctor mode without batting an eye?” That was a skill I’d never mastered, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. My guys, my unit, were my best friends. There was no way I couldn’t be real with them. That was why Ihad been avoiding them since we got back. If anyone would see through me, it would be one of them.
“I’m doing my job.”
“A little too well.” I ran my hand back through my hair. “Next you’re going to be asking me how I slept and if I ate a full breakfast.”
“Well?” I looked over to see her head tilted upward.
“I slept fine, and I forced myself to eat a bagel since I was seeing you.” I informed her. “Does that work for you, Ms. Fontaine?” There was nothing nice about my voice.
“This isn’t about me.”
“Isn’t it?” I leaned against the wall behind me.
She crossed her arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means every time I come close to getting to know anything about you, you shut down and turn it all back on me.”
