Ghost left through those doors, those French fucking doors. I spend most of my time in this bed staring at them. Sleepless nights spent watching the doors, just hoping one night he will come waltzing in like he never left. The guys come every day and every day I scream at them to leave. Who am I if not his? My dreams are filled with a dark face and ocean eyes. I crave him like a drug addict craves their fix.
Day Eighty Three
None of my calls go through anymore and all of my texts say “not delivered”. My family won’t leave me the fuck alone. They don't know what happened but they know it's bad. From their lingering voices in the hallway outside of my room, they assume it is related to my attack. No matter how many vases I break against walls, they keep replacing them and tell me it's okay. It’s not okay. I am not okay. I barely eat, shower, or move much. Token and Hela have taken up a permanent station at the end of my bed. The guys keep visiting and each time results in one of them leaving bloody. The thoughts won’t turn off. My lips craved to be touched by his.
Day One Hundred and Twelve
I see him now. Not just in my dreams but in real life. As if I reach out and touch him, I’ll feel his warmth pulling me from this hole. Blake visits now. He has managed to get me to shower, gain weight back from not eating, and occasionally manages to make me laugh. My eyes burn from the tears and I have a constant thirst from all the crying. My night terrors have decreased over the past month too. I can sleep through the night now, with the help of drugs of course. I still crave him the way the desert flowers crave rain but it hurts a little less now.
Present
Blake strides into my room with flowers and shopping bags. Today is my birthday. It all hurts a little less now. I have come to terms with Ghost’s absence in my life. I tell myself he’s dead, the alternative would be unbearable. Knowing he’s out there somewhere living a life that doesn’t have me in it is not something I’ll allow myself to imagine. I've shut down the hallucinations too. I shut it all out and put up a giant wall in my mind. Blake has been helpful in my other needs as well. He goes down on me whenever I ask. It takes me thinking of Ghost to cum but that’s okay. That's an improvement. I still won't let him inside of me. Ghost was the last person to have me and if I let Blake, it’ll erase him. There are studies that show if a man releases inside of you, his DNA gets embedded into you. Forever a part of your body. He’s a part of me no matter the reason. I’m bound to him.
“Good morning, Amoure.” He says as he puts the items down.
“Good morning.” I return while watching him close the distance between us. He scoops me up into his arms and kisses me. It’s soft and polite, but a part deep down in me craves the violence I had grown accustomed to. A need for it boils under the surface. He takes the flowers and puts them in the vase next to my bed. He found that with flowers in a vase, I was less likely to throw it. So he replaces them weekly. Every time he brings a different kind but all the same in color; Black. Today they are black orchids. They are beautiful in a haunted sort of way.
“So, I have been thinking…we should go out tonight for your birthday. There is a new club downtown that is exclusive. You can invite the guys and I’ll invite my sister.” The mention of his sister piques my interest.She has accompanied Blake on more than a few lunch visits. She’s really sweet and a total ray of sunshine.
“Okay, but I’ll have to go shopping.”
“No need. I’m already on it. I picked out a little of everything because I wasn’t sure what you would want.” He puts the shopping bags on my bed and begins pulling out various garments, all in different colors.
“Shoo.” I say while waving my arms dramatically, my eyes still on the different options. He chuckles while exiting the room.
I make quick work of spending my day pampering away the last six months of hell my body has been through. After I am plucked, scrubbed, and my skin lotioned I head to my closet. Picking out a matching lace lingerie set, I put them on and look through my dress options.
There is a beaded emerald green strapless dress that catches my eye but I move on to the next. A red lace dress with a moderate strap lays beside it. Cute but not for tonight. After a few more I see a soft blue silk dress that nearly breaks my heart. The color draws me back to a particular set of eyes that told me I was loved before abandoning me. I shiver and a knot forms in my stomach. Swallowing down some bile I look to its right to find a long plunge black mini dress bejeweled in small diamonds. It’s a perfect embodiment of me. Pretty on the outside but dark inside. Smiling, I slip the dress on and smooth out the material. Landing mid thigh, it leaves my long smooth legs exposed in a way that I usually reserve only for my marks but it’ll do.
I head over to the vanity to do my hair and make up. I decided on a dark eye look with glossed lips and for my hair, a half up half down style with loose curls. Collecting a black fur jacketand bedazzled black pumps, I give myself a once over in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. I shoot a text to Blake and the guys letting them know I am ready before heading downstairs to the bar for a pre-game drink. Sitting on a barstool, I pour enough glasses of champagne for the group and sip on mine while waiting for them to arrive. Within five minutes, the guys come walking in. Each is dressed to impress.
“About damn time.” I laugh at them as they collect their drinks.
“We can’t all be born perfect, E. Some of us need time to look half as good as you.” Ryon laughs while bringing the glass to his lips. His eyes keep mine as I take in their murky blue color.
“Ry, you know I only look this good for you, baby.” I add with a wink. Dramatically falling into him and clinging to his jacket like a desperate woman. He pulls me tighter with both arms before kissing the top of my head. I kiss his cheek in response.
“Hey, leave some of her for the rest of us!” James hollers as he and Lucas descend on us. They surround me in limbs while dramatically swaying back and forth. Someone clearing their throat in a sharp tone halts us in our place. We dismantle our group hug to find the source of our disruption. Standing in the doorway is Blake in an all black outfit with Scarlett just behind him. She wears a red velvet cocktail dress with a delicate ruby encrusted necklace sitting upon her neck.
“Get in line, man.” Lucas laughs from somewhere beside me. I don't look at him as my eyes stay glued on Blake. His face goes from irritated to arrogant in a nanosecond. He chuckles softly to himself as he softly shakes his head.
“This might come as a surprise but there’s no line for me. I’ve got VIP access to club Everly.” He smirks while his eyes holdLucas in place. I roll my eyes at the pissing contest going on between the two groups. Breaking the tension, I walk up to Blake and plant a soft kiss on his lips while keeping eye contact with him. After a moment of us staying frozen in time, I slip past him towards Scarlett. Looping my arm in hers, I guide her out of the room with me and towards the front of the house.
We collect in the driveways standing next to a hummer limousine. I dramatically open the door and usher everyone in. Blake lingers behind before holding onto the door while jerking his head towards the door, gesturing for me to go first. Smiling with a shake of my head, I oblige but not before making sure to stall with my ass on full display. I wiggle it a bit in a torturous kind of way that earns me a sharp slap to the left cheek. I giggle a bit, continuing my way into the vehicle before finding a seat. Blake climbs in after me and plants himself in the seat beside mine. Music plays overhead as the lights dim and the limo begins to roll into motion. We spend the next fifteen minutes laughing and continuing to drink. At some point, Blake rests his hand on my upper thigh. My head snaps down taking in the sight, just as he gives it a small squeeze. My breathing increases in response as his fingers dance up and down my exposed thigh. The temperature in the cabin rises as I look up at him. He’s mere inches from me, his breath fanning my face. My eyes drop to his lips on impulse as his tongue slips out, slowly wetting his bottom lip.
“What’s wrong, Love? You look flustered.” He mocks with a devilish grin. Bastard. I cast my eyes to the others. They hang onto Scarlett’s words as she remains entirely oblivious to their needy looks. The poor girl’s going to get eaten up.
“They can’t save you, sweetheart.” Blake’s airy voice in my ear draws me back to screaming awareness of the fact that his hand is dipping between my now parting thigh.
The dim lights offer some form of privacy but not enough. If any of them looked over long enough, they could see the naughty things Blake is doing to my body. His hand pushes further down until his middle finger brushes my folds through the fabric. I bite my lips to stifle a moan. Ghost was right, I like to be watched. The risk of being caught only enhances the experience. His fingers slide the thin lace material of my panties away allowing him bare access to my pussy. Somehow, even in this literal hotbox of a vehicle, a chill creeps upon my skin. He pushes a finger between my folds and rubs my clit in determination. He’s going to make me cum before we get to the club whether I like it or not.
“Eyes open. Watch how far I can push you in a car full of people just feet away. Any moment they could see how you are unraveling with just my fingers.” He leans over until his breath tickles my neck. His head tilts and he nibbles at the skin below my ear. I do as he said and look at the group just beyond us. The pressure of a boiling orgasm builds low in my pelvis. My heart hammers in my chest as my breathing only gets more erratic. What would happen if they saw? Would he make them watch me come undone in a moaning mess?
He dips further until two fingers are inserted into my entrance while his thumb continues its assault. His other hand grips my knee, forcing my legs to stay open. I look at him as I notice just how close we are. His lips are centimeters from mine. He casts his eyes over my face, taking in my strained expressions of ecstasy.
“Are you going to cum right in front of them, Everly?” He asks but he knows the answer. I will even if I couldn’t help it.
“Yeah, you are.” He answers for me. My orgasm builds up so fast I don’t have time to realize it before I’m crashing over the edge. I start to moan out but he pulls my head into his. The kiss is aggressive; it drowns out my moans as my legs shake in spasms. He retrieves his fingers from my apex and brings them to his mouth. He slides them into his mouth while his eyes roll back and he groans at the taste. If I wasn’t drooling before, I am now.
