“Aye.” The admission felt right, felt true in a way that made her chest warm. “I’m his. And he’s mine. That’s how marriage works, and that’s how ours is becomin’.”
The door opened before Lydia could respond, and a maid entered with a tea tray laden with cups, a pot of steaming tea, and an assortment of cakes and sandwiches. The girl set it down with practiced efficiency, curtsying quickly before departing.
As Iris poured tea for both of them, she felt Lydia’s eyes on her, studying her with an intensity that made her slightly uncomfortable.
“What?” Iris asked, handing her sister a cup.
“Ye’ve changed,” Lydia said softly. “The Iris I kent would never have been so confident, so certain of her place. Ye always seemed to be apologizin’. But now...” She gestured vaguely. “Now ye seem comfortable in yer own skin. Like ye finally ken where ye belong.”
“The Iris ye kent was tryin’ to be somethin’ she wasnae to please parents who would never be satisfied.” Iris took a sip of hertea. “This Iris is just tryin’ to be herself. And it turns out, that’s enough. More than enough, actually.”
“He really does care about ye, doesnae he?” Lydia’s voice was thoughtful. “The way he looked at ye when he asked if ye wanted to leave... that wasnae the look of a man who sees his wife as merely an obligation.”
“I hope nae.” Iris felt warmth bloom in her chest at the memory. “We’re still figurin’ things out, still learnin’ how to be married to each other, but there’s somethin’ real between us now. Somethin’ worth protectin’.”
“I’m glad.” Lydia reached across and squeezed her hand. “I’m so, so glad ye found happiness here, even if it came about in the worst possible way. And I’m sorry, truly sorry, for puttin’ ye in this position.”
“Stop apologizin’. Ye did what ye needed to do, and it worked out better for me than either of us could have imagined.” Iris squeezed back. “Though next time ye’re plannin’ to run away from a weddin’, maybe give yer sister more than a cryptic note as warnin’?”
Despite everything, Lydia laughed. “I promise. Though I’m hopin’ there willnae be a next time. I quite like the peace of convent life.”
“Do ye? Truly?” Iris leaned forward, genuinely curious. “Is that where ye want to stay?”
“For now, aye. Maybe forever.” Lydia’s expression grew thoughtful. “There’s somethin’ peaceful about it. Nay one expects me to be anythin’ but meself. Nay pressure to marry well or produce heirs or be the perfect lady. Just... existence. Prayer and work and community. It suits me.”
“Then I’m happy for ye.” Iris meant it. “And I’m happy ye’re safe. That’s all I really wanted, to ken ye were all right.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, sipping tea and nibbling on cakes. Outside the window, Iris could hear the faraway sounds of the training yard. Men were shouting, swords clashing, and beneath it all, a child’s excited voice asking questions.
Codie. He too is becomin’ me son in all the ways that matter.
“Ye seem to be growin’ fond of Codie,” Lydia said suddenly.
“Oh aye, Lydia. He’s wonderful.” Iris couldn’t keep the warmth from her voice. “Smart, curious, brave. He got sick shortly after I arrived, and I sat with him, promised to teach him to ride if he took his medicine without fussin’. He did, and now, we’re slowly workin’ through those lessons.”
“Ye sound like his maither already.”
“I feel like I am. Or at least, I’m learnin’ how to be one.” Iris set down her teacup. “He needed someone, Lydia. His maither died when he was so young, and Elijah has been so focused on keepin’his distance, on nae gettin’ too attached. Codie’s been lonely, I think. Cravin’ affection and attention but nae knowin’ how to ask for it.”
“And now, he has ye.”
“Aye. And I have him. And slowly, carefully, I’m helpin’ Elijah see that he can have him too. That lovin’ his son willnae make him weak or vulnerable, That it’ll just make him a better faither.” Iris smiled. “We’re workin’ on it, all three of us, tryin’ to figure out how to be a family.”
Lydia shook her head slowly, a small smile playing at her lips. “I really dinnae think I could have done it. Been married to someone so intense, so overwhelmin’. I would have been terrified every day.”
“Then it’s good ye ran away. Because he needs someone who’s nae afraid of him, who can stand up to him when necessary.” Iris met her sister’s eyes. “And I think I’m finally startin’ to realize that person is me.”
“Ye really have changed,” Lydia said again, but this time there was admiration in her voice. “I’m proud of ye, Iris. And I’m sorry I ever made ye feel like ye werenae good enough. Like ye needed to be more like me to be worthy of love.”
“Ye never said that.”
“I dinnae have to. Just by bein’ the favored one, the easy one, the one Ma and Da held up as the perfect example... I made ye feel less than. And I’m sorry for that.”
Iris felt tears prick her eyes. “Thank ye. That means more than ye ken. And I hope one day, ye will start to care for Codie as yer nephew.”
“If he’s even half as adorable as ye say, I am sure I will like him as soon as we meet.”
They finished their tea in companionable silence, years of unspoken hurts beginning to heal in the quiet understanding passing between them. Finally, Iris stood, smoothing her skirts.
