“Exactly. You know how much your uncles dislike that.” He gave a solemn nod. “So next time, if you want candy, you ask me or daddy. You don’t take it from a stranger.”
“Okay,” he said softly.
Finally, the line began to move and it was their turn. When they attempted to accompany the girls to Santa, the elf stopped them. “We prefer parents to stay behind the line. Kids tend to…act out more when they’re parents are too near. You’ll still be able to hear everything from over there by Mrs. Clause.”
“Oh, sure,” Lucas said, giving a tight smile. As the elf led the girls to Santa, Lucas muttered, “I don’t feel great about this.”
“It’s best to get them out of the way first, just in case I need to offer Santa money to keep his mouth shut about the little one's abilities,” August said.
Mrs. Claus smiled at them when they appeared before her and she turned the monitor to where they could seeand listen in on their children’s exchange with Santa. “It’s so you can hear if they ask for any specific toys. And so we can make sure that Santa isn’t doing anything pervy to the kids like last year.”
August’s head shot up. “Santa from last year was a perv? Do you happen to remember his name?”
When Mrs. Claus gave August a baffled look, Lucas elbowed him, then said to her, “Ignore him. I used to work in…law enforcement. It’s hard to turn it off.”
Both he and Mrs. Claus both knew his explanation was flimsy at best and made no sense.
“You used to be a profiler, right?” she asked.
Lucas’s gaze jerked to hers. “What?”
“You’re Lucas Mulvaney, right?” When Lucas’s eyes went wide, she giggled. “You guys are, like, famous. Besides, I want to get into forensic psychology so I research all of that stuff.”
“Ah.”
He turned his attention back to the monitor as Arabella sat on one of Santa’s knees.
“Let’s get one thing straight,” Adelyn said, as she also made her way into Santa’s lap. “If we don’t get the Super Soakers we asked for, we’re going to demand a full investigation into your operation. We have to beat our cousins in the water fight this year.”
“My…operation?” Santa queried, glancing at Lucas and August.
Arabella nodded solemnly, drawing the man’s attention back to them. “With interrogationsandpolygraphs. Our grandpa is rich and we're spoiled so he'll get us a polygraphif we want one. You don’t want that, right?”
Santa blinked, glancing at Lucas for help. Lucas only smiled apologetically. He waited for Santa to tell his spoiled little brats that they should just ask their grandfather for a super soaker if they're so sure he'll buy it for them, but the man was the epitome of professionalism.
“Anything else you’d like for Christmas? Other than the S-super Soakers?” he asked, keeping his voice…jolly.
Adelyn reached into her pocket and fished out a crumpled piece of paper. “Here’s our list. We’ve also included our sizes and a list of potential stores, just so there’s no mistakes.”
Santa’s bushy brows shot up. “Oh, how…thorough of you.”
Arabella nodded. “Now that you know our list, we have some questions for you.”
“Girls…” August warned, giving them a look.
“No, no. It’s fine,” Santa assured them with a chuckle and a wave of his hand. “I’m happy to answer any questions.”
The twins gave their fathers a smug look, before returning their full attention to Santa.
“First question,” Adelyn said, adjusting her glasses. “Given the population of Earth, the approximate number of children per household, and the circumference of the globe, how exactly are you delivering presents in one night? Even accounting for time zones, it’s statistically impossible.”
“Unless you’re using wormholes,” Arabella said, narrowing her eyes and leaning into his space. “Areyou using wormholes? Because I have diagrams, and you don’t look like someone who understands quantum physics.”
Santa cleared his throat, “Well, uh, magic?—”
“Magic isn’t a viable answer!” Adelyn interrupted. “It lacks empirical evidence.”
Santa floundered for a long moment, then seemed to regain some of his composure, dropping his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. “Okay, I’m not supposed to say this because I could get in big trouble, but you’re right. I am using wormholes. How else would I be able to pull all this off?”
