Calista snips the thread and I let out a rueful laugh.
“Not an excuse, really, but you can imagine their displeasure when they’d find a troublesome teenager on their doorstep. Roger was used to getting his way so we butted heads a lot. He roughed me up on occasion but nothing serious.”
I trail off, losing the nerve and finding it again in a set of emerald eyes.
“He was playing poker with his buddies and I heard him talking about Cruella. The kind of stuff no husband should say about their wife, let alone my mum.”
Anger twirls around the hurt, a volatile emotion that’s done it’s best to protect the softer parts all these years.
“I called him on his bullshit. He said it was none of my business, called me a few names and I spat in his face. It was a dick move but I wouldn’t stand for the things he was saying about my mum.”
The fire in my belly fades as the darkness creeps in, the tight quarters of the closet threatening to suffocate me right where I stand.
Calista’s hand wraps around mine, an anchor keeping me in the present.
I lift her hand and press it against the stitches lining my neck. Her eyes follow the movement, the harsh jut of my Adam’s apple scrapping her palm with every swallow.
“He put a collar on me. One of those studded ones that dig into the animals fur.” I close my eyes and press her fingers into my skin, letting her feel the marks the metal spikes left behind, “It was too tight. So was the cage he put me in.”
Guiding her hand down my chest, I point out each and every scar.
“Got his buddies to pitch in. Using whatever hunting equipment they could find to beat me in that cage. And when that wasn’t enough, Roger went and got the branding iron from the stables.”
Rounding the curve of my ribcage, I let her fingers hit the ridge along my back. The raised skin that bears my stepfather’s prized brand, the initials of his pack of wild beasts.
My chest collapses beneath the weight of my breath, the ink spilling across my body not strong enough to keep my pathetic self from leaking out.
“He said if I was going to act like an animal then I’d get treated like one.”
A tear slinks down my cheeks as I look at the one person who understands what it’s like be tied down and ripped apart. Dismantled and disfigured until you forget what kind of person lived there in the first place.
“Did you tell her?”
“I was embarrassed.” Empty laughter escapes my chest, “I didn’t want to admit I’d been overpowered, you know? Took me a few days to seek medical attention on my own and then a few more to work up the courage. But by then...”
My words dry up, the most painful part of the story ripping a new hole in my hole-ridden body.
“By then she told me not to make a fuss. To watch my mouth around Roger because he doesn’t tolerate that sort of behaviour.”
Calista sucks in a breath, her eyes alight with a flame waiting to set fire to the world.
“I told my crew I came here for them.” The fracture in my chest widens with each word, “But the truth is, I came here tosee my mum. To see if maybe after all these years she would finally choose me.”
“Christopher-
“It was stupid. I knew it was stupid when I left but here I am. Stomping around, pretending to be mad about a decision from ten years ago when really, it’s me. I’m the one who can’t let go. Can’t throw away the key to our old apartment like it might be more than a piece of garbage that weighs me down.”
I didn’t think I would have this many tears but those fuckers just keep coming.
“The only person I’m mad at is myself. For putting myself in the exact same situation and expecting a different outcome. For holding onto the hope that one day somebody will pick me. That my presence will ever amount to more than just a stain on the shoe mat you notice walking out the door.”
Calista is nothing but a blurry silhouette, a mere figment of my imagination reflected through the mirrors around us. Her fingers swipe the bulk of my sorrow away before the slide of her tongue follows suit, licking the leftover residue clean from my face.
“Nobody.” Her voice sharpens even while her lips press against mine, “In their right mind could walk away unaffected by you.”
“Don’t be so sure about that, darling.”
It’s an insecurity she chases away with her kiss, a ravishing snarl that’s filled with so much anger and aggression I can’t help but lose another piece of myself.
