I press my tongue to my lips, tasting the cold droplets staining them. Numbing them, stripping away any sign of warmth, leaving a girl who is cold inside.
Empty, drained of the capacity to bring light into this world.
“Not all parents deserve their titles.”
Christopher squeezes my hand gently, unexpected understanding flowing between two counterparts.
“You want kids?”
“They’re cute and all but...” Wet hair flings to the side as he shakes his head, “Not for me. Destined to be the fun uncle, you know?”
I force my lips into a smile because I do know.
“That’s what siblings are for.”
“Nah, that’s what my crew is for. Horace wants a boatload of mini clones and I could see Jasper adopting a couple too.” He pauses, thinking it over, “Mae would be a toss-up, to be honest, but I could see you having kids.”
“I can’t have kids.”
“I mean, Wolf Hollow doesn’t seem like the best place to raise a litter but...” His eyes find mine and his voice loses its traction.
Comes to a complete stop as he takes in the creature before him.
“One of the men gave me an infection.” Bitterness laces my tone, the poison that’s been killing me for so long finally spilling over, “Complications led to a partial hysterectomy.”
Pain etches across Christopher’s face, sorrow woven with every line.
“It was the only chance I had at bringing something good into this world.”
A confession that melds with a crack of thunder, a splinter of lightning breaking clear across the sky. A guttural cry thatdoesn’t make it past my throat but echoes through the forest around us.
“And they stole that from me too.”
“Calista.” Heartache breaks through each syllable, so visceral I can almost convince myself it’s my own, “Darling, I...”
He finds himself with nothing to say because there is nothing left to say.
“We’re not all destined for the light, Devil.” A hitch notches my breath, causing my words to falter, “Some of us are meant to live in the darkness. To bleed in the shadows so no one has to see the mess we leave behind.”
I pull my hand from his grasp and climb to my feet.
Strong, independent and just as alone as I’ll always be.
“You should get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow.”
“Calista-
“Go home, Devil. Before another predator finds you.”
It’s a warning and an apology. For believing a man like him could ever understand what it’s like to look in the mirror and see a monster.
A nightmare of my mother’s creation.
Chapter 40
CHRISTOPHER
Winding up outside an asylum sets the tone for another brutal evening.
