“Ma!” Jordy groaned, making my heart soar. He was awake.
“Baby, I’m here.”
“No, she’s going to hear this, JoJo. I know you want to protect her, but she can’t run from me forever. I don’t know what you did to him or what he did to you this time, but obviously, he’s still a damn fool for you because he’s probably ruined his career to protect you after you ran off and broke his heart all those years ago. He’s still carrying a torch for you. I don’t like it, but that’s not my business. My son is an adult, but that’s still just as much my baby as it is yours. I just hope you love my son half as much as he clearly loves you.”
“I do, Doctor Lisa. I never meant to hurt him.”
“Now, I saw your son with your mom the other day. Is that my grandbaby?”
I glanced over at JoJo who was nodding with his eyes still closed. “Yes.”
“Bring me my baby. He needs to know us.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m going to give you a minute to talk to him alone before they prep him for surgery. JoJo, open your heart and stop being so damn stubborn. Obviously, you two have a lot to talk about.”
Once Jordy’s mom and sister were out of the room, I moved closer to the bed. I couldn’t resist the urge to touch his face.
“I asked you to give me space, Harper.”
The chill in his voice made a lump form in my throat. I was used to Jordy being warm and sunny. I could only blame myselffor the stark change in his disposition. It hurt, but that didn’t mean I was going to run away.
“I couldn’t leave you like this, JoJo. Did you do something? Did you like . . . What happened, baby? You should have called me. I should have been with you.”
“I didn’t try to hurt myself, if that’s what you’re asking, Harper. I told you I know how to process my feelings. I asked you to give me space so I could do that.”
“Well, I’m giving you space, but I’m not leaving. I’ll just be on the other side of the room. I’m not leaving you again, JoJo.”
I moved the chair that Jordy’s sister had been in to the other side of the room and plopped down. The curtains were pulled so that I could only see the foot of Jordy’s bed, but I was there. I couldn’t leave without knowing that he would be OK.
“I fractured my hand hitting your ex-husband. My brother Jameer is on the way to see if I need surgery. My mom thinks I do. The doctors on call here don’t agree. So, we are waiting on him to give his opinion.”
Hours Earlier. . .
I had no idea where I was going. The only thing I knew was that if I stayed, I would do or say something I couldn’t take back. The air seemed to burn my lungs as I drove aimlessly. My fists were clenched so tight around the wheel that my knuckles ached. Every mile that I put behind me seemed to open the ground more.
Leaving Harper felt wrong. Walking away after my brother’s confession felt wrong. Feeling the ground shift under my feet when I wasn’t even moving felt worse. Jase’s voice still echoed in my head no matter how much distance I put between us.
He’s mine.
Jase’s words hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball, not because I resented him for being Cameron’s father. They hurt because of the silence. Jase and I told each other everything. How long had he known? How long was he going to keep it from me? I trusted my brother more than anyone in the world. Now I didn’t know what to think.
We talked about everything from women to lunch choices. We shared everything, even the woman we loved. Now the one time when what he knew really mattered, he chose to keep it from me. The worst part was the fact that I knew he was keeping it from me because he felt like I couldn’t handle it.
There was a time when I didn’t know how to cope with my feelings. There was a time when I kept things in and played nice no matter what. That led to me feeling lost and trying to end my life when I was seventeen and my parents were going through their divorce. It had been fifteen years, but apparently, my best friend still saw me as the fragile young boy with a broken heart and big feelings that he didn’t know how to process.
Years of therapy and medication had taught me how to say what I meant and feel things without regret. I was furious that Jase thought I couldn’t handle knowing that he was Cameron’s father. When I made it to my mom’s, I parked out front and swiped my hand down over my face.
The throbbing in my left hand made me hyper aware that something was wrong. I knew my mom would be livid, but I had to see her. She already hated Harper. She blamed her for breaking my heart all those years ago. It was part of the reason I hadn’t told her that we were seeing each other again. Now that I had probably broken my hand fighting her ex-husband, I could only imagine what she would say.
I wasn’t angry at Harper. That realization surprised me. As much as I was hurt by her decision to leave without telling us that she was pregnant, part of me understood. As soon asher husband started berating her for being with both of us, the instinct to protect her reputation kicked in. Harper left because she felt like she had to.
She left because she felt betrayed. She left because the men she loved broke something in her, her trust. She stayed away because she felt like that was the only way she could survive. She chose dignity and safety for her and her son when she thought love from us wouldn’t be enough to shield them from the world. For some reason, I understood.
Therapy was a motherfucker.
I climbed out of my car, knowing two things: My hand was definitely broken, and I still loved Harper. God help me, I still loved her. Nothing that happened had changed that even a little. I just needed time.
