“I do. I just want your mouth and your hands to be busy while I’m talking,” he said, gently nudging my shoulder with his.
“We don’t need to rehash ancient history, JoJo.”
He watched me with soft eyes behind those freaking glasses that gave me butterflies in my stomach. When he took the champagne flute from my hand, I didn’t fight him on it. He turned and placed the glass on an empty spot beside him then reached for my empty hand.
“We have to clear the air, Harper. I can’t have you walking around hating me forever.”
“There’s nothing left to talk about. Time heals all wounds, right?”
“Wrong. I have never gotten over you, not for one minute, Harper. Not even for one breath.”
“OK, but what do you want me to do with that information, Jordy? It’s been eight years.”
“Tell me you’re over us, and I will let it go. I feel like you’re just as tortured by this as I am.”
“What does that matter? You made the decision to betray me, Jordy.”
“I’ve been paying for my mistake for eight years. I’m tired of paying for one night of stupidity. I have never in my existence dreamed of hurting you, Harper.”
“I’m sure that was never your intention. Back then, I thought so, but I don’t think that was your character.”
“I was going to ask you to be my wife. I had the ring and everything. Me and bro picked it out together and had an honest conversation about how things would go going forward. As long as you were good with it, we were going to keep things going the way they were, both of us taking care of you and making you happy for the rest of your life. I wanted you to be my wife. I learned the value of that when my parents went through their divorce and had to do that whole asset division thing.
“Since Jase and I were only seventeen when they split, we had to decide who we wanted to live with and all that shit.Jase said he would never get married. I wasn’t sure about it until I met you. You saw me, Harper. You knew I wasn’t just a weird, smart dude who liked reading books just as much as he liked playing basketball. You understood my layers better than I ever could. You shared something with me that I could never overlook. When we made the decision to lose our virginity together, I was so fucking nervous, it was crazy. You were the one who helped me to understand that it was something special. I didn’t want to fumble you. I could have fucked a hundred girls by then, but I didn’t want that. I wanted what my parents described as a special experience.
“When I met you, I understood why I waited instead of following in my brothers’ footsteps. I wanted to share that with you. We learned about boundaries and unconditional love together. We learned about ourselves together. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you.”
“And we vowed to only be with each other forever before we included Jase.”
“I kept that promise for a long time, Harper.”
“Jordy, let’s not forget what I walked in on that night.”
“You’re right. I was close. I let the alcohol and whatever we had smoked that night make me go against my better judgement. The whole party was like a bachelor party for me. I wanted to elope the night before graduation. When Jase couldn’t talk me out of it, he decided that I needed to at least sew my oats a little bit. He had this crazy idea that if you were the only woman I ever had sex with, then eventually, I would get curious and stray. After a while, I started to believe it too.”
“That’s no excuse, Jordy.”
“I know. I’m not trying to make excuses. I’m just explaining what happened. I want a chance to be back in your life, Harper. Tell me what I gotta do to make up for the most colossal mistake I’ve ever made. How can I regain your trust?”
“Move on.”
“I have. Let’s move on together.”
“You betrayed me, JoJo.”
“Not that it matters, but nothing happened. I came close. I could barely hold myself up let alone fuck someone.”
“I’m pretty sure y’all were about to do that when I walked in.”
“I know what you saw. It’s almost the only thing I remember.”
“Then you didn’t even come after me. You sent Jase!”
“I didn’t send him. I told you I could barely move. He saw what was going on and came to try to stop you for me. The party should have never happened.”
“Do you know how it felt to feel like the only person I thought I could fully trust betrayed me? A naked girl came to the door and asked me which of y’all I was there for, JoJo! What kind of shit is that?”
“I never knew that, Harper. I don’t know what you thought or how you felt, because you disappeared off the face of the earth and refused to talk to me. How could you do that, Harper? How could you not give me a chance to explain?”
