I pressed the send button so hard I almost broke a nail.
When I flipped back to the Zoom tab, Jackie was back too, with a spicy twinkle in her eye. “Would it help if one of us came down towork for the summer?”
Bea shook her head. “We would never ask one of you to do that. You all have your own lives and commitments.”
“Hollie doesn’t.” Jackie twisted her brows, pretending it was the first time that thought occurred to her. “What if she and the girls came?”
Eyes slid to me.
She continued, “I mean, she doesn’t need the paycheck so she’s the perfect option.”
I smiled as genuinely as I possibly could. I was going to kill Jackie. This reckless volunteering of me and my daughters to uproot ourselves and go to Texas for a while proved that Jackie knewfar lessabout my situation than she realized. In the last eight months, my life had turned into a web of legal complications. My attorney had explicitly advised menotto suddenly leave the state.
I couldn’t toss my responsibilities to the wind and disappear over the horizon.
Even if Garrett did it first.
Anxiety, my familiar foe, wrapped its fingers around my neck. Practiced, I kept my smile in place even as my hands clasped together beneath the desk and my left thumb dug into a nail bed on my other hand. The stinging sensation calmed me, an outlet for feelings I could never share.
Mom looked at me, hope in her eyes. “Is there any way you could potentially go, Hollie? What would Garrett say?”
I drew in a breath, avoiding Jackie’s glare. “Honestly, I would love to come and the girls would too, I…uh…” My voice trailed off as I groped for a way out.
Peter shook his head. “Garrett is never going to let her leave that long. We all know that.”
I scoffed, indignant. “What are you talking about? Ofcoursehe would.”
Jumping to his defense came as naturally as breathing. Even after all we’d been through, I didn’t want my family to think ill of him. True, I had turned down family vacations, celebrations, Zoom calls, birthday parties, and countless other fun things because of the drama it caused with Garrett. Even mentioning invitations to Garrett was asacrifice of my peace. So, I usually just turned my family down on the spot. I blamed it on ballet class, extra-curricular activities, or a business related event of some kind.
But now, when I should’ve been untethered and free to do as I pleased, I still held back. Why?
Habit, I guessed. Thirteen years is a long time.
My thumb nail dug deeper into my cuticle until a warm fluid seeped between my fingers. I stuck my thumb under my thigh, stifling a whine of pain. I forced a smile even though my bleeding cuticle felt like fire as it chaffed against denim. “Let me talk to him about it. Even if I can’t stay long, I could definitely go for at least a little while.”
Mom nodded. “Let me know after you talk to him, honey. I’ve already looked at my schedule to see if I can get away from work for a week or so to come visit and help.”
My family continued to talk about Bea, the baby, Tag, and the ranch for a while before the conversation moved to other topics. I was the first to leave the meeting.
After disconnecting, I got up and paced the room. There was a lot to consider. The idea of Bea suffering without family nearby gutted me. She looked awful. The big sister spirit ingrained into my heart wanted to rush down there right now and spoonfeed her pistachio pudding, but my legal obligations loomed like a dark rain cloud. Law required me to get written permission to leave, but…he hadn’t seen or contacted the girls in months. He wouldn’t even realize we were gone.
What did the law say about that?
Technically, I could call Gabriella and ask her. My attorney was always open for questions, but I dreaded doing so. Getting Garrett’s written approval to go to Texas for Bea’s wedding in April had takenweeks.I didn’t want to go through that process again. Plus, Garrett wouldn’t accuse me of not following the parenting allotment when he hadn’t followed it either. He was vindictive at times, but he wasn’t stupid. Taking me to court over a sick family member when he was behind on child support and alimony with zero excuses wouldn’t bode well for him.
And that wasifhe even realized we’d left.
On my fourth trip around the room, I recognized excitement bubbling in my veins. I missed this feeling. I’d been so numb for so long I forgot what a tiny dose of hope could feel like. For months now, I ran in a glitched loop—looking for an exit I’d never find.
This was it.
We needed some time away. From this house. From the realities I was terrified to face.
I yanked open my filing cabinet and rifled through papers until I found the allotment Garrett and I signed in October. My eyes scanned the lines. Gabriella told me I could file a motion against Garrett for not following through on visiting the girls and paying child support. But my highest priority was preserving my daughters’ relationship with their dad. My heart bucked against the mere idea of taking him to court again.
Fire ran through my veins as I perused the pathetically small list of commitments Garrett made. He hadn’t followed through on any of them.
So, if I was going to be technical, he breached this parenting plan already.
