I stepped fully into the light. “Jesse?”
He jumped, dropping the bit on the table with a cuss word.
“Gosh, I’m sorry.”
“You scared me.”
“I should’ve called out.”
“It’s alright.” His brow furrowed. “Are you good? What are you doing out here?”
Uncomfortable, I smoothed my dress, and his eyes followed the action. The blush pink bridesmaid dress with a plunging neckline and clingy silk fabric suited my skin tone and highlighted my best features. But it had been so long since I felt desirable, that I felt like I was playing pretend.
Finding my tongue, I said, “I saw you leave.”
A smile played at his lips. “So you followed me?”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” I admitted with a wince. I stepped into the room, my gaze scanning the tools scattered over the workbench. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m trying to be.” He squeezed the bit in his hand. “I was going to come back. I just needed a minute to breathe.”
“Do you want me to go?”
“No,” he said quickly. “Don’t. I’m glad you came.”
I almost melted with relief. I strode over and leaned my hip against the table. “Need to talk it out?”
“There’s nothing to really say.” He shrugged, not meeting my eyes. “I was doing alright until I had to talk about her.”
“Your speech?”
He nodded. “Maybe I should’ve left my experience out of it.”
“What you said was beautiful and uplifting. I’m just sorry it cost you something.”
“Being real always costs something.”
I gave a loud huff. “Very true.”
Silence fell for a moment. Then he spoke, a quiet ache infused in the scrape of his voice. “Weddings aren’t easy. My brother got married a few years back and I didn’t even go.”
“Did he understand?”
“Yeah. My whole family did.”
“What about Tag? Does he know you still have hard days?”
He took a deep breath. “I think, in theory, he does. But, I’ve gotten good at pushing through them. So, if he doesn’t realize, it’s on me.”
I thought about what Bea had said this afternoon, that they wanted to see Jesse go on some dates. Maybe he wasn’t ready for another woman in his life and they didn’t know because he masked his pain. He probably seemed all better now. But he wasn’t. Maybe he never would be.
The idea was achingly relatable.
No one knew me either. Not really.
The words slipped from my lips without permission. “It’s hard to expose your heart when youknowno one can understand until they live it themselves. Trying feels pointless at times or like you’re seeking attention or something. You know you’ll never be whole, so why bring it up?”
Jesse turned to look at me, his gaze searching mine. “Yes. That’s exactly how it feels.” He gave a disbelieving exhale. “I gather you’re speaking from experience.”
