“No.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s better that way.”
His curt tone told me he didn’t want questions about it. My gaze dropped to his long sleeves again, reminding me of his lack of cowboy attire. “Are you a cowboy?”
He chuckled bitterly. “Not in the slightest.”
“Just work with the horses for the paycheck then?”
“Yep.”
I hummed. “Interesting. Is there something else you’d rather do?”
For the first time, his grey eyes looked into mine, searching out my intent. An answer bubbled to the tip of his tongue and his lips moved as if he was about to tell me but the moment broke as his gaze cut away and he shrugged. “Not really.”
Our small talk, or rather my interrogation, continued until the song ended. When we broke apart, my gaze slid to Jesse who had sat back down next to Harlan.
I didn’t dance again.
A while later, the new couple cut the cake. Tag tenderly fed Bea her bite of cake, and she opened her mouth, drawing toward him without one iota of fear. From that cake bite on, my smile drooped. And my emotional energy spun down the drain.
I had begged Garrett not to smash cake on my face. He liked pranks, but I had never enjoyed practical jokes like that. I wassoscared he would ruin my hair and makeup. When I tearfully asked him not to do such an awful thing, he called me sensitive and boring and instructed me towaitandsee.
“You’ve never been able to take a joke.”
With cake smashed into my mascara, I’d rushed to the bathroom alone and scraped away the icing and tears. I didn’t ask for help because I had no friends with me. The only people present wereGarrett’s. The entire time, I blamed myself for my reaction.Too sensitive. Too insecure.
Now, watching Tag touch Bea’s face with a holy reverence I could only dream of, hot tears welled in my eyes. I tried to talk myself off my emotional cliff.
I’m happy for you, Bea. You deserve this. I’m so…so…
What was I even saying?
I’m so jealous.
The only good things that came from our union were the two angels holding hands and spinning around the empty patch of grass reserved as a dance floor, their sashless dresses swishing around their little legs and bare feet.
As soon as Garrett had smirked at the tears gathering in my cakey eyes on our wedding day, I should’ve predicted what the future held. Garrett said he started out loving me, but I got cranky and moody and connecting with me grew too difficult. Honestly, I couldn’t remember much about our early years together. The pain blurred past—it was easier not to dwell. And truthfully, I probably was difficult to love during that time.
I didn’t mean to be though.
But even then, did Garrett and Ieverhave what Tag and Bea did? Did we start off happy like Peter and Sarah? Would Garrett miss me if I died? I scoffed at the thought. Of course he wouldn’t. He didn’t even bother to glance over his shoulder before walking into a whole new life with a brand new woman. But, then again, I’d never had his full attention. Even though I dideverythingin my power to receive it. He’d thrown me crumbs and I pretended it was a feast.
Why did everyone else get an unattainable fairy tale?
It had to be me.
Maybe I just didn’t deserve that kind of love.
My hands started shaking again and I stuck them in my lap, underneath the table where I sat alone. Empty cake plates and cups of half-melted ice sat abandoned all around me because my family was off dancing, chatting, and celebrating like this was the happiest day of their lives.
For the millionth time, I scanned the party for Jesse.
“I liked it, Hollie. I like you.”
They were dangerous words—words that could break me.
