She laid her hand across her stomach, her voice a whisper. “I cannot imagine.”
“Yep. Needless to say, I don’t do bulls.”
“I bet you hate that one.”
“He met his due end.” My father-in-law had to remove him from the field with the bucket of a skid steer after I shot him unrecognizable. I left out those gruesome details though.
“Is it hard to talk about?”
I frowned. “Always.”
“Well, I admire your openness.” She averted her gaze, glancing down at her hands in her lap where her thumb picked at her cuticle. “I struggle with that.”
“Being open?”
“Just…” She shrugged, a fleeting smile lifting her cheeks. “Facing stuff that hurts. I’m pretty good at pretending it doesn’t exist.”
“No judgment. I’ve done plenty of pretending.” I drew a deep breath in an attempt to encourage her. I didn’t know the hurt in Hollie’s life, but I knew with intimate familiarity its pricey toll. “Facing it takes practice. The impossible looks less daunting when you’ve conquered it a thousand times.”
Her eyes found mine again, a teasing lilt in her tone. “So do you just tell your story as often as you can? For practice?”
I chuckled. “Something like that.”
“I’m not sure I would find many willing victims.” She smiled and held her chin high, but doubt darkened her eyes and her thumb worked into the most sensitive part of her fingernails—perhaps an echo of deeper pain, an aftershock of sorts.
“Every single time you grit your teeth and carry on, you’re practicing.” I sucked a breath as I fiddled with my straw wrapper. “Sometimes the biggest hurdle is just getting out of bed.”
Her eyes softened, an expression I couldn’t pinpoint furrowing her brow. “I feel that.”
A beat of silence passed. I considered apologizing for being too serious, but Hollie’s face stayed scrunched in thought. Finally, she asked, “What was it like for you to heal after all that?”
I tried to smile. “Healmight not be the right word. My life isn’t the same and never will be.”
Hollie didn’t take her eyes off me, just nodded, soaking the words in. “At the risk of sounding insensitive, you seem okay though.”
“Want the truth?”
Her eyes widened a little before she nodded. “Yes.”
“Last night, I almost threw away four years of sobriety because I was dreading this wedding so much.”
Her shoulders dropped, compassion oozing from her softened expression. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. The old man who works at the gas station in Comfort called me out and sent me home with honey for Cade instead.”
Hollie’s eyes brightened. “He sounds like a good friend.”
I had never really thought of Bill as a friend, but he watched my back when I needed it. “Yeah, I guess he is.” I took a deep breath,turning the conversation. “In all seriousness, therapy helped a lot. And my son keeps me on track.”
“We conquer the impossible for them every day, don’t we?” Her pink lips lifted into an encouraging smile. “Thanks for letting me be nosy. Your courage is inspiring.”
Izzy’s chipper invitation cut off my reply. “Momma, come play this round.”
Hollie waved her off. “That’s alright. You guys can.”
Nora poked out her bottom lip. “Ah, come on, Mom. You’re thebestat this game.”
“Did you hear that?” Hollie turned to me, pressing her hand to her chest as if she was flattered. A note of facetiousness laced her tone. “I’mthe Go Fish champion.”
