Maybe I should’ve asked Jesse if he knew CPR. Maybe someone stronger could’ve saved him faster. I wondered if Garrett would’ve found my immediate action embarrassing or presumptuous. I shook my head, confused by my self-consciousness.
When I stepped toward the truck, my legs wobbled, the muscles in my legs jumping and pulsing with adrenaline. My hands shook and my belly quivered. I felt light-headed and blurry-eyed as I processed what just happened.
He could’ve died.
Right here. At the airport. The night before my sister’s wedding.
Each appendage felt numb, foreign—like maybe they belonged to someone else. I forced my steps forward, offering a reassuring smile to my girls, who obediently stayed in the truck. I must’ve told them to do that, but I couldn’t remember.
A stranger who’d been watching called out to me, “Good job, Mama.”
I just nodded, barely able to summon a shaky smile.
I leaned into the truck, told my daughters what happened, dried their tears, gave them hugs, and pulled snacks out of my canvas bag. Talking to my girls calmed my nervous system a little. As I distributedlittle boxes of raisins and crackers to them, I said, “I’m going to go talk with the medics, I’ll be back, okay?”
Even though I felt like I was encroaching on someone else’s doctor visit, I stepped up to the bench where the medics had seated Cade and Jesse. Cade’s head rested against his father’s shoulder, a blood pressure cuff on his arm and a pulse oximeter on his index finger. His eyes were pink rimmed and puffy, his cheeks still wet with tears.
One medic stood nearby, asking questions while the other squatted next to their equipment.
On the sidewalk between us laid Jesse’s hat. I’d hardly registered that he was wearing a cowboy hat when we first met, but now, I could recall the cream colored hat he wore as he tipped his head back and laughed over Nora’s obsession with his belt buckle. A smile broke into my face as I stooped to pick it up off the ground.
Immediately, the scent infiltrated my senses. It smelled like being wrapped in a hug, like pressing into someone’s neck—all body and warmth and something a little like aftershave. Human.
Everyone glanced at me as I approached, the hat clutched to my chest.
“This is Hollie.” Jesse’s words sounded like a continuation of a conversation they’d already had.
“Hi.” I said, lamely, thrusting the hat out to Jesse then quickly stepping back when he took it.
A middle-aged medic with chestnut hair and winter blue eyes and a nametag that readSuzannelooked at me. “You did the abdominal thrusts?”
I nodded. “I didn’t hurt him, did I?”
She gave me a gentle smile, the blue in her eyes warming. “Yes, but you saved his life.”
Another medic, Phil, with two full sleeves and a deep, rumbling voice added, “Abdominal thrusts hurt if you do ‘em right.”
“And with any child, asphyxiation progresses and turns fatal quickly,” Suzanne added. “He’s lucky you were here.”
Phil gave me a respectful nod. “Well done.”
Instinctively, and perhaps against my will, my gaze flicked to Jesse’s and found him gently studying me. Hiseyes were green with a haunting ache woven into his irises. Lines of concern etched across his forehead. In a sweeping movement, his gaze took me in, head to toe. When they landed on my face again, he gave me a grateful smile.
Phil stood and said, “Even though all of his vitals look great, we would recommend going to the children’s hospital for observation. Especially with kids, this stuff can take a sour turn all of a sudden. There can be lingering complications. And he needs to be scanned for trauma in his airway. Do you guys want to be transported?”
Jesse looked to me, no doubt considering that the three of us were depending on him for a ride. If Jesse and Cade went to the hospital, we all went. But if Jesse was anything like me, he would go—rehearsal or not. As a parent, I would never risk lingering complications at a remote ranch.
He said, “Hollie, I know you guys need to get?—”
“Please don’t worry about us.” I stopped him. “We will go with you to the ER. That’s exactly what I would do.”
He nodded, taking a moment to think. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
On cue, an ambulance rolled up, signaling with a quickwhoop-whoopfor people to get out of the way. Bright flashing lights reflected off the glass doors. As Phil and Suzanne packed up their gear, the other paramedics popped out of the back of the ambulance. For a few minutes, Jesse gave the new medical team the run down of what happened and Cade’s medical information was passed along.
Every thirty seconds or so, Jesse’s gaze sought me out. His green eyes left the medics and found me, a beat of impatience lacing his movements. Like he wanted to break away and come talk to me. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have thought twice about this.
