“Do I really?”
“Almost every time.”
She pressed her cheek against my shoulder again. “Wow,” she whispered. “I had no idea I did that.”
I dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “I bet your place isn’t silly or juvenile in any way.”
Emotion threaded into her soft huff. She took a shaky inhale, gearing up. “There was this bowling alley close to our house. It wasn’t part of a strip or anything like that—just a standalone bowling alley straight out of the nineties. We went there a lot as little kids. When I was seventeen, I started parking my car behind the alley and shining my headlights over the back wall.” She softly laughed. “Um, anyway, I danced in front of the headlights so I could watch my shadow on the wall. Anytime, something happened in my life that I needed to work through emotionally, I would go there and just dance.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not sure why, but something about making my darkness move…it spoke to me. But, I realize how melodramatic that probably sounds.”
I sunk my hand into her curls, choosing to listen instead of respond.
“Actually, the house Garett bought me had this huge balcony on it. It was gorgeous, made out of stone, hanging over a perfectly manicured lawn. I was totally obsessed because…I wanted to dance on it. And, at night, if the lights in the house were on, you could stand on the balcony and see your shadow stretch all the way across the yard. IbeggedGarrett to dance with me there, but…” Her words trailed off.
“Did he?”
“No, he didn’t. For a while, I thought it was because I embarrassed him, but that wasn’t it. He knew practicing that kind of vulnerability made me stronger. I’m honest with myself when I dance, and I think he was afraid of that.”
“Did you ever dance there alone?”
“Once. But I felt so foolish, I never did again.”
I grunted, trying to hide the way her story made my heart race. I’d bet Garrett was a lot more malicious than she believed him to be, and that scared me. What if he told her lies and she fell for them again? I was going to be worried sick about her. “Well, I have something to say. And it’s going to completely shock you.”
I shifted her up until we were face to face, chest to chest. Her eyes beamed with curiosity.
“Not onebitof that was silly.”
She laughed, the sound bringing more peace to my heart than the river. I dragged my thumb over her lips, my eyes roaming over each of her features because I was running out of time to commit them to memory. Looking into her deep, brown eyes, it felt like my heart might come out of my chest.
But suddenly she frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“What?”
“I see something in your eyes. What’s on your mind?”
I hadn’t even realized I was pondering something until she pointed it out. “I was thinking about you and Garrett.”
Her hand skimmed up my sternum, coming to rest on my cheek. “What about us?”
“I’m afraid he’s going to swoop in and try to win your heart again. And I won’t be there to protect you.”
Hollie shook her head. “I’m not going back to him, Jesse. For so long I thought reconciliation with Garrett wouldalwaysbe the better choice, but I don’t believe that anymore.”
“What changed?”
“A couple things. I realized that my parents reconciling after my mom’s affair was definitely admirable but not the healthy choice for every marriage.” She let out a soft laugh. “And then…I met you, Jesse.”
A sad smile tugged at my cheeks.
She whispered, “I didn’t realize how dark my world was until I met you.”
“Hollie.”
“I’m serious, Jesse. You’ve opened my eyes to so much. I couldn’t go back now. I’ve grown so accustomed to feeling like a problem all the time, that meeting you and feeling valuable and capable again has completely changed my life.”
“I’m glad but…” A curl fell into her face and I pushed it back, whispering, “I’m still going to be worried sick about you.”
“Don’t be. Mom and Dad are going to help me move out and list the house. I won’t be doing anything alone.”
