FOUR
Hollie
Present day - June
Igot his voice mail…again.“This is Garrett Aldridge, chief financial officer at Prestidge Design Solutions. Please leave your name and number and I’ll give you a call back. If there is an urgent matter or you’re calling regarding a PDS account, you can call my assistant Kayleigh Walters at—”I groaned out a breath—even the way he said her name made me want to throw up in my mouth.
Or dissolve into an incoherent depression yet again.
I’d already tried the so-called emergencyline and got that voice mail, too. I’d also texted and emailed him repeatedly over the last twenty-four hours.
I took a few cleansing breaths then redialed, determined not to chicken out of leaving a voice mail this time. When the beep came, I drew a sharp breath. “Garrett, it’s Hollie. I need you to call me as soon as possible. There’s been a family emergency and I am needed out of state.” I willed my tone to hold steady—no cowering.
For good measure, I lifted my chin to deliver my rehearsed ultimatum. “If I do not hear from you by tomorrow night—June 10th at midnight mountain time—I will assume you are, once again, forfeiting your scheduled time with the girls on the weekends of June 16th and June 30th and will be leaving early in the morning on June 11th.” Hopefully being at the ranch for an extended period of time would soften the blow of not seeing their dadagain. “I am sending a copy of this information via email to you and your assistant and faxing a printed copy to the general office and financial office at PDS.”
By the time I pulled my phone from my ear, my hands were shaking so violently, I couldn’t hit the red disconnect button and the delay added a solid five seconds to the end of my voice message. Dropping my phone on the counter, I placed my palms against the edge and leaned forward, my head spinning with nausea.
Garrett wouldn’t even text me back. His hands were probably too busy under Kayleigh’s skirt to bother with things like texting. Holding myself steady, I took a few more deep breaths, wishing I had the guts to move to…Switzerland, maybe.
At that moment, Nora walked in. “Hey, Momma?”
I straightened, blinking the tears that had gathered away from my eyes. “Yeah, baby.”
“What’s for dinner? I’m hungry.”
“Uh.” I turned toward the refrigerator as if it held the answer. Was it already dinner time? I hadn’t made a full grocery shopping trip in a while. I smiled down to reassure her that dinner was in the works. “How about I let you know in ten minutes, okay?”
“Okay.” She sauntered back outside to continue playing with Izzy on the swing set.
I shuffled to the refrigerator and opened the door. My eyes darted from item to item without really registering anything. As I let the cool air flood my bare feet, my thumb found the bandaid around my finger, rubbing the edge until it began to pull away from my skin.
Eggs…salsa…tomatoes…cucumbers…cheddar cheese…
My brain tried to cram the ingredients together somehow.
If we went to the ranch, I wouldn’t have to be in this house. Or see that balcony. Or remember all the tiny moments that had stolen my joy—one piece at a time.
I shut the fridge doors and moved to the pantry, discarding the bandaid in the trash can as I passed it.
Flour…canned soup…black beans…rice…
The girls needed to get away too, and what better place to go than Texas? We could be with Bea, help out, and have a really nice time. The girls would love it. But as much as I wanted to go to Texas, I prayed my notices wouldn’t go unheeded.
I had to hope he still cared. That we weren’t so inconsequential to him. I blinked against the immediate sting in my eyes, squelching the moisture before it had ample time to bloom.
Baking soda…muffin mix…chocolate chips…
If we stayed at the ranch for a month, we would technically only miss two of Garrett’s visits—since he was scheduled to get the girls every other weekend. We could go. Everything would be okay. If Garrett did get upset about it, I’d just come home. No harm done. Maybe I could spend my down time at the ranch calling realtors. I really did need to put the house on the market…eventually. And when Nora was in school, I needed to get a job. So I could maybe fill out some applications.
The final worry attacking my brain was one I didn’t want to touch with a ten foot pole. I couldn’t even think about the way I’d thrown myself at Jesse without heat climbing into my cheeks and nausea wringing my stomach. Seeing him would be so…humiliating.
If Jesse had any inkling I was back at Meadowbrook for him, I would shut it down. My concern was forBeaand Beaalone. His tactics would not work on me.
I drove my thumb nail into my cuticle, and the stinging sensation grounded me, enabling me to think a little more clearly as I pulled out ingredients for cheese and bean burritos.
FIVE
Hollie
