Silently, he went to work on my cuticles, gingerly rubbing the tallow into every single nail bed. The scent of warm butter and honey filled the room, and I blinked against the image of the top of Jesse’s red-brown hair as he leaned down, laser-focused on caring for me. I could’ve spread the tallow on my own, but the fact he took the task upon himself brought a fresh round of tears to my eyes.
I cried all the time around Jesse, didn’t I?
Not after locking myself in a closet or silently in my bed late at night.
With him. In the open. Free and unhindered.
I blinked and they fell again in quiet defiance of themandatory strength I’d shouldered far too long. My tears made me feel like a woman—soft and vulnerable. And the way he responded to them—oh, my heart.He loved me.
Regretfully, I informed him. “I’m leaving with my mom on Sunday.” He nodded, his face growing somber. Today was Wednesday and Jesse had to leave for a rodeo early Friday morning. He wouldn’t be back before I left. That gave us one more day together.Just one.“I’m so thankful to you for offering the cabin, but I need to go home. You understand why, right?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“My mom told me I could move into their house.” Quickly, I explained some of the tension between my mom and I, and how we had reconciled on the porch. “It will be good for me to prioritize fixing things with my parents. Then I can sell the house and meet with my attorney. If I’m able to get full custody and permission to relocate, maybe…”
His eyes snapped up to mine.
“Maybe I could come back. Because, I want this too.”
“This?” He wanted me to clarify.
I squeezed his hand. “Us.”
He froze, his eyes unmoving from mine. And he didn’t respond.
“Do you ever just…watch the kids and think that maybe the five of us are supposed to be together?” I shrugged, feeling suddenly insecure. What was I insinuating with the wordtogether? My imaginations had cast me as Jesse’swife, but I would never be brave enough to suggest such a thing. “Maybe all this happened for a reason. I mean, look at us. We’ve been close since the night we met at the airport. I’m going home, because I have to, but I don’t want to stay there forever. I want to come back to the ranch one day. Back to you.”
Jesse blinked a few times, his jaw working down some unspoken feeling. “I want that, too.”
I shook my head. “But, I might not be able to come back.” My heart hurt at the mere prospect. “A court summons might wake Garrett up. If he realizes he could lose access to the girls, he might fight me. And if we start fighting, it could takeyearsto get free. I don’t wantyou to wait for me.”
How would I ever leave him?
I feltsickimagining hundreds of miles between us.
He nodded, letting that sink in. “Let me ask you a question. Do you want me to give you some space? I can if that would make things easier for you.”
I shook my head. “Only if space would be better for you. Selfishly, I want as much ofusas I can get.”
The wordusmade him smile.
“But I’m worried about hurting you if things beyond my control suddenly change.”
He nodded, his voice gentle. “What about something casual then? Occasional phone calls and texts. No promises or strings attached. We’ll go long distance and just walk through life until we can figure out where it’s leading. How’s that sound?”
“Yes,” my voice rasped with emotion. “That sounds perfect.”
His exhale sounded like he’d been holding his breath. “Thank goodness, because I don’t want to let go of us either.” He reached up, swiping his hand down my jaw and over the curve of my neck as his eyes bounced from feature to feature, taking me in like I was his prize. “Alright. It’s my turn to be honest.”
“Okay.” I scarcely recognized my own voice.
“Remember what happened in the tack room?”
Red heat bathed my face as I exploded in laughter. I rolled my eyes to every fixture in the room besides him, trying to hide how embarrassed I was. But he bent forward, laughing into the elbow slung across his face.
I pushed his shoulder back. “What? Why are you laughing?”
“You—” He gasped. “You aresored. It was”—he snapped his fingers—“instant.”
