But her red eyes and pink nose made me feel like a giant jerk for being MIA for five days.
We didn’t greet each other, which was awkward. But I hesitated to speak first. I hung my keys on the hook and stooped to unlace my boots. When I straightened, I finally asked, “You want me to shower first?”
“Go ahead.”
When I returned to the living room with damp hair and sweatpants, Miranda had her head leaning back on the couch, clutching the blanket underneath her chin. Her eyes were closed. Thought she might be sleeping.
“Hey.”
She startled, and her head came up.
“Were you asleep?”
She shook her head and swiped her cheeks. “No, just running my lines.”
I snorted a half-laugh. Couldn’t help it.
I eased down on the other side of the sectional couch. A few beats of quiet passed between us. Since she was the one who demanded we talk—I figured I’d let her start us off.
She fiddled with the fringes of the blanket. “Jack, we need to talk about what happened. Because—I promise. It’s not what you think.”
Her statement was like seeing a distress flare in the distance. A conflicting blend of dread and anticipation raced up my spine.
I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees, and nodded, probably looking a lot calmer than I felt.
“I have to tell you everything.” Her voice shook. “My heart cannot keep it in any longer. But, I’m probably going to cry. Maybe”—she took a deep breath—“maybe even sob. Is that okay?”
Memories I’d rather forget played my mind. Like the timesshe sobbed on the floor of the shower. How I’d left to pick up extra shifts because I couldn’t stand the sound of it. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
She picked at the blanket, fingers shaking.
“Are you afraid?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
My lungs felt tight. “Of me?”
“Yes.” She hesitated. “If you leave because I’m crying or walk away for some reason, it’ll break me.”
I didn’t know if she was referring to something I did in the past. The flash of confusion in my head gutted me.
Break her.
Walk away from her.
I stuffed down the guilt cropping up and reassured myself.
I never left her. She left me.
“I’ll listen. You have my word.”
THIRTY-FIVE
Then
Miranda
After my doctor appointment, I called and left dozens of tearful messages. Even emailed him. Begging him to call me back. I wasn’t going to tell Jack I was pregnant over text. That was the type of information you deliver voice to voice. Plus, he would have questions. Any normal person would.
