Take the shot, son.
I hesitated, clenching my teeth through the adrenaline surge.
Thirteen years had proved that I still found hunting undesirable. Guess most people thought when they saw a big guy like me that I enjoyed shooting and killing things or blowing crap up.
I didn’t. Not in the slightest.
Through the scope, I saw magnificence. A life I wanted to protect. Not something I wanted on my wall. If my family was starving for food that would be different. For sport felt barbaric.
I took a deep breath, humiliation seeping through my veins. Felt my throat constricting and prayed she didn’t see the heat washing over my face.
I’m a cop for crying out loud.
“Come on. He’s going to get away.”
My finger twitched.
Take the shot, son.
Against the internal voices shouting at me, I lowered the rifle. Miranda frowned in confusion, her eyes searchingmine.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, angry at myself. “I’m an idiot.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I lied to you.” I sighed. “I’ve been hunting before.”
“Oh.”
“I went when I was ten. We were invited by one of dad’s attorney friends for a father-son hunting weekend, and I embarrassed my dad.”
Her shoulders fell. “What happened?”
“There were two other dads and two boys about my age. I was the only one who’d never gone before. So when the first opportunity came, they urged meto do the honors.” I kept my gaze on the field, not wanting to look her in the eye. “Couldn’t take the shot.”
“Were you afraid?”
“Yes and no. I knew how to shoot a gun, so it wasn’t that. I didn’t want to kill it. The death is what scared me. My mom died the year before. Maybe that’s why. And then knowing something so beautiful would be killed for fun.” I shrugged, the explanation sounding stupid to my own ears. “My dad was pissed. He cold-shouldered me the rest of the day and when we were out of ear-shot, he let me have it.”
She reached out and touched my forearm. “You were only ten. That’s not fair.”
“Well, I’m twenty-three now and apparently not much has changed.”
Her fingers tightened around my arm.
The buck meandered toward the edge of the clearing.
“When I blew off college to go to the police academy, he laughed at me and brought up the hunting trip. Said I didn’t even have the balls to shoot an animal.”
I glanced at Miranda. Her eyes were teary, unmoving from my face.
“But by then he was bitter for all sorts of reasons. Mainly because I screwed up his dreams of my becoming a defense attorney like him. I didn’t want to be anything like him, so I picked law enforcement. It sent him over the edge to say the least. He brought the hunting thing up to make me feel pathetic. He was a pro at that.”
Miranda’s fingers slid down the palm of my hand and intertwined with mine. “That’s terrible, Jack.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
