I took a deep breath. I wanted theoldMiranda. The one who would’ve launched into a description of a four course meal she saw on Food Network. The one who would’ve browsed the dairy cooler for fifteen minutes trying to decide on a new, disgusting creamer for her coffee. The one who would’ve waltzed into the kitchen, insisting we play the tasting game. The one who would’ve lit a candle at every meal because the glow made things look special.
I hoped that Miranda was still there. Somewhere.
“That’s fine. I’ll just add the basics.”
It would be so easy to forget this situation was a mere business arrangement. To forget the alluring woman and likable kid in my home weren’t mine. It would be so easy to pretend the years between us were a blip on the radar. Easy to pick up where we left off as if nothing happened.
Easy for me, I should say. Not for her. When she left me, she made it very clear I failed her. A pain settled in my gut.
I might not be able to reverse time. But this was my chance. And I planned to take full advantage. It was the closest thing to a do-over I would ever get.
As I added items to a grocery order, Kacey came and drove a car down my thigh and shin. He made tiny zooming noises then took the car back up my other leg. I smiled at him. “Kacey, that’s a cool car.”
He handed a red one to me. “You be dis one.”
I took it as my heart flipped.
I turned the tiny toy over and read the bottom. “Oh, this one’s name isTwin Mill.”
Kacey’s eyes widened—they were soft brown, like Miranda’s. “Dey have names?”
She watched us.
I shifted. Why was I nervous?
“They all have names. Let me see that one.”
Kacey gladly relinquished his blue car.
“This one isBone Jigger.”
Kacey giggled, repeating the name. “Bone Jig-gah, Mommy.”
“That’s so neat, buddy.” Her voice wobbled, and she tucked her hands beneath her chin.
Pretty soon, cars were piled in my lap. I was reading off names and Kacey was doing his best to memorize each one of them. After a minute or two, Miranda stood. She wasn’t looking at us, but fidgeted with the edge of her sweatshirt, the emotion in her voice apparent. “I need to make him some food. Come on Kacey, let’s go in.”
I hoped I hadn’t done anything wrong.
Kacey whimpered and laid his head against my knee.
That was something. A smile tugged at my lips. “I don’t mind staying out here with him for a few more minutes.”
She hesitated at the door then slowly nodded her consent before going inside. I scooped the little guy up to sit on my lap. He started babbling to me about his cars, which ones went the fastest, about the one with a broken tire, and had me read off the names again. He was a good talker. I understood every word. The breeze lifted his hair, and I caught his scent. Kacey smelled sweet and fresh. Like my nieces, Winter and Woods, did. As we chatted, he leaned against my chest and absent-mindedly tapped up and down my arm with his chubby fingers.
When Kacey asked to go in, we found Miranda at the stove, working with a spatula. She’d taken off the sweatshirt and wore a fitted white t-shirt and blue jeans. Despite the incredible aroma, I felt my mouth go dry.
Yep. Way too easy.
NINETEEN
Jack
“I’m honestly surprised you picked up.”
“Yeah, well, thanks for calling. Pat was right per the usual. I needed to cool off. Sorry for everything I said. I didn’t mean to make Miranda cry.”
“It’s okay.” I stretched out on my bed. “I’m sorry for not keeping you in the loop.”
