“I actually turned down a promotion to lieutenant last year. I’m regretting that now.”
She frowned. “You’d never be happy doing a desk job.”
A smile played at my lips. She knew me. Katelyn said I should’ve taken it.
She must’ve realized her confidence because she backpedaled. “Oh—I’m sorry. Maybe that’s your kind of thing now. Not like I’d know.”
“No, you’re right. I wouldn’t like a desk job.”
An awkward beat of silence passed over us before I changed the topic. “I’m assuming marriage is out of the question for you, but maybe it's a way we can help each other…and I want to help you.” Even as I said it, my brain screamedwhy. She left me. She walked away. She broke off the marriage I wanted. But standing here, watching her, made the anger I’d felt feel like a million miles away.
Her chest rose with a deep sigh. “Jack, marriage is…” She shook her head at a loss for words. “You don’t need to solve my problems. I’ve made a lot of terrible choices—I don’t even know where I’d start.” Her fingers traced lines in the condensation again. Her hallmark. Miranda always fidgeted when she felt uncomfortable. “There’s so much clean up to do in my life.”
Like Kacey’s dad?
It was just an assumption. But I couldn’t help but imagine Miranda with some dead-beat guy moments after running from my arms. I had wanted her. Tried to fight for her. I gave my head a hard shake as unwanted images sneaked in again.
There was Chris. And the one night stand guy. Maybe more.
Someone along the way must have programmed her into believing she was a problem. She apologized to me at least a hundred times for the most minor things. Like Kacey whining, or not finishing her slice of pizza, or for making a lot of noise. Stuff I wouldn’t have thought twice about until she fell all over herself for it.
The Miranda I used to know lived unapologetically. She made more hasty mistakes than anyone I ever met. But I used to love that about her. She made messes out of things then laughed at herself until she collapsed.
If I ever came face to face with the person who hurt her, I’d capitalize. I had to take deep breaths to release the tension in my fists.
She continued, not waiting for my response. “Plus, if I recall correctly, four years ago, you said it was better for us to deal with consequences on our own and go our separate ways.”
I swallowed, regret wrapping its fingers around me. “I think I did say that.”
“Oh, you definitely did.”
We’d gone our separate ways and fate threw us back together. “Well, we are both here now. And you need an ally.”
She stayed quiet.
“Can I at least help you fix your car?”
“You’ve already done too much. I don’t feel comfortable taking anything else from you.”
“It’s not a big deal. How about I offer you a trade. I help you fix your car, and you help me go through the crap in the attic?” We’d had the car towed to a mechanic who was running diagnostics.
The deep dimple on her left cheek made a brief appearance as she fought a smile. “That isnota fair trade.”
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from that almost-dimple. “You haven’t seen the attic.”
“Pretty bad, huh?”
“Last time I checked.” It was like fifteen years ago, but still.
She said nothing, just bit her lip.
The urge to really see her welled up inside me until I felt like I would burst. She had been strategic. Always keeping me on her left side. But suddenly it wasn’t enough. I wanted to look her straight in the eyes. To show her I saw it all. To prove I was on her side.
I must’ve been suffering from a head injury. Memory loss or something like that. Jack plus Miranda had equaled trouble from the start. But—for some reason—I didn’t care.
I whispered, “Miranda. Will you look at me?”
Her head tipped down toward her glass. Her lips worked with a swallow.
