“I could’ve at least given you the chance to explain.”
“There would’ve been no way to explain in that short time. It’s really okay. I know you were just looking out for him.”
“Yeah, we are pretty protective.”
I hadn’t planned on getting overly personal with Jules. But the next words out of my mouth felt natural, and I wanted to share them. “Well, you should know, I didn’t strike up this deal with Jack because I want to be rich or anything. I was just trying to get?—”
“It’s okay, Miranda. I know. Jack told me about Chris. I hope that’s alright with you. He and I talk a lot more than we used to.”
“Of course. I’m glad you have each other.” Slight embarrassment crept into my heart. Jules probably thought I’d fumbled things so badly.
“Listen, I hope it’s okay for me to say this, I wouldn’t feel right not saying something—from one mom to another—I’m sorry for all your losses.” Emotion swelled in her voice and my heart squeezed with a host of feelings. “I can’t honestly wrap my head around it.”
I swallowed hard, trying to hold it together. For my babies to be acknowledged felt—good. A hard type of good.
“Thank you, Jules.” I cleared my throat. “Means more than you know.”
“I hope you and Jack are able to work everything out.”
My voice squeaked. “I love him. I won’t hurt him again.”
A sniffle on her end threatened the flimsy dam holding back my own flood. “You have—no idea how happy I am to hear that. Have you told him?”
“I told him I love him, but I need to tell him I want to stay. Actually, that’s why I called. I—I have something, uh, special planned for Jack.”
“Oh!” Her tone did a one-eighty. “Does your sweet boy need a babysitter again?”
I laughed. Jules and I used to be friends. She was a little on the wild side, but I’d loved her to pieces. Would we find friendship as moms now? My motherhood thus far had been so isolated, I’d never had a mom friend to hang out with. I smiled so big. “Yes, he does.”
She squealed. “Oh, I’m so excited! Just tell me when.”
“Is tomorrow afternoon too soon?”
“Not at all.”
“I can drop him off around 3 p.m. and get him…I don’t know, after dinner?”
“No, no! Just leave him overnight.”
I backpedaled, “Oh, uh, I don’t—I don’t think that will be necessary.”
She scoffed, her tone turning a bit suggestive. “Well, I don’t know what you have planned, but if you’re making any kind of commitments, it’s gonna be necessary.”
Her confidence made me draw a shaky breath. “You think he’ll be happy?”
“Are you kidding?! Happy is not even the right word!” She made another excited noise. “Girl, let us keep him overnight. Pat can take him down to the shop to look at all the cars, we’ll get a pizza, make pancakes in the morning, play outside. If he likes to swim, we can go down to the river. We all think he is the sweetest kid!”
A night alone with my husband. I put a hand over my stomach which fluttered out of control.
I hoped she couldn’t hear how breathless I got. “Are you sure, Jules?”
“Positive!”
We talked details. When I hung up, I was in full freak-outmode. By this time tomorrow, I’d be in his arms for real. Not holding back ever again.
If everything went according to plan.
FIFTY-EIGHT
