We all had the same problem. No one wanted to do the hard things. No one stayed through the fire.
I had so much to think through. So much to rework in my heart. We sat in silence again as I sniffled.
What if trying again changed everything? What if we could be the family I always wanted? I’d have to risk my heart, but…I wanted to.
I wanted to love my husband that way.
My husband.
A realization hit me like a waterfall. Jack was my husband already. I had his heart and he had mine. Whether we liked it or not, there were no take-backs. I didn’t walk away intact the first time. I certainly wouldn’t now. Leaving would gut me. Timeline didn’t really matter.
Might as well try.
I sucked in a deep breath. I forced my voice above the whisper in my throat so Richard could hear me. Blinked back tears. “I need to tell Jack I forgive him and want to stay.”
Richard smiled. “It’s not hard.”
“Words seem weak though.”
“Show him then.”
An idea hit me. Something I coulddofor Jack. A picture painted in my mind’s eye. A scene. A quiet moment betweenthe two of us. I needed to work out the details, but the idea definitely had potential.
What would Jack say? Would he be happy?
I gave my head a hard shake. OfcourseJack was going to be happy. I’d lost count of the times he’d announced how he felt. How real it was for him. I wanted to prove I was in this, too. For better and worse.
Until harvest, whenever our harvest might be.
I said, “I think I know what I could do for him, but it might take a few days to get it, and my heart, ready.”
I told Richard my idea. Said it sounded silly, like it wasn’t big enough.
But he said, “Love is quiet, enduring. Something simple and poignant will do just fine.”
“I need to go. Kacey will wake up soon.”
Quiet, enduring, simple, poignant.
All things I wanted for us. I stood and moved to his side of the table. I leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Thank you. You have no idea what your friendship has done for me, Richard.”
“Well, I love you, Miranda. You’re a special young lady.”
A sharp intake of breath filled my lungs, and I wrapped my arms around him. My voice was taut with emotions rolling through my heart. “I—I love you too, Richard.”
FIFTY-THREE
Jack
My day was long, hard. Heavy stuff on the job. Heavy stuff at home. Had to deliver a death notification to a middle-aged woman. Took a rookie with me. Combo made my suck day ten times worse.
The kisses with Miranda last night should’ve left me soaring. But I was in a post-high crash. She’d said in no uncertain terms that I needed to give her some space.
What if she decided she didn't want this?
Would I ever be able to kiss her again?
The questions haunted me all day. Made me miscall a few reports on the speaker.
