“Sick as a dog for a while. I was miserable until I was almost four months pregnant.”
Jack’s shoulders worked as he picked a few more weeds. I was done on my side, so I perched on the garden barrier, talking. “I did nothing but lay in bed and do a few exercises here and there. I was determined to make sure our little guy made it.”
Jack’s gaze snapped to mine.
I think theourcaught him off guard. As it did me. My brain had to fumble for words to find my bearings again.
“When I was nine months pregnant…” I let my words trail off. “Are you sure you want to hear all this right now?”
He nodded. A gruff “yes” came from his bent head and rigid shoulders.
“There was a small kitchen fire at the duplex over the kitchen stove. I wasn’t there thankfully. I was depositing a check and picking up groceries.
“I was just so happy all my stuff didn’t go up in flames. The fire stayed small and was put out very quickly. There were enough damages though that an entire wall needed to be rebuilt. The insurance claim covered everything and when the reno started, I had to move out.
“I had nowhere to go. And yes, my credit was terrible because of that dumb card I forgot about. Chris opened the doors of his personal home. I walked into that situation for a lack of options. I couldn’t work to make my own way, I had no friends since I did remote side-gigs for income, and I had a baby coming in a month. So, I went with him.
“He said he’d get the duplex unit back up and running as quickly as he could. But when it was finally finished a month later, he said he was having financial trouble and needed to rent it to someone at market price.
“So, I had to stay with Chris. He assured me he’d help me find something else. But weeks rolled into months. Chris had to move several times and always packed us up with him. I never questioned why he moved so often, although, looking back…I kind of wonder if he was in some sort of trouble?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t question much of anything. I was so depressed I could hardly care for Kacey. I had scary thoughts that made me feel like a terrible mom. I was so anxious. Making my own way would’ve been impossible.Chris knew my emotional state and he took advantage of me. Started asking me for things and made me feel guilty if I said no. Like he’d done so much for me—how could I refuse?”
The garden was weed free and twilight was edging in upon us. But we sat on the edges of the garden, neither of us making a move to leave.
“What type of stuff did he ask you for?”
That’s when my eyes started burning. “Little things at first. Make dinner. Clean the house. Run this to the bank for me. Watch a movie with me. Have a romantic dinner with me. It just”—I swallowed the lump forming—“things just escalated from there. I ended up being his girlfriend and I wasn’t even sure how it happened. There were a lot of little compromises that…stacked up over time. I was not in a place to make smart decisions anyway. Saying no and holding boundaries…I couldn’t do it. I was struggling postpartum, felt…” I shrugged, letting my explanation be good enough.
I sniffed, hating the wave of emotion washing over me as I remembered those horrible early days with Kacey in Chris’ home. I was grieving the loss of everything I ever wanted. Jack, a home, security, family. Especially Jack. A few tears trickled down my cheeks.
“That bastard devised the entire situation, didn’t he?”
I nodded, my voice weak. “Yes, I think he did.”
“You didn’t love him?”
“No. He was not lovable.”
“Cruel?”
I shook my head. “Cruel makes me think of being chained up and starved or something. Nothing like that. It was mainly his words—I don’t know how he did it, but he made me feel like crap every time we talked. And it wore me down. I did what I had to do to not feel so bad all the time.”
“That’s cruel in my book.”
I swiped my cheek with my glove, realizing belatedly I probably left dirt on my face. “I was weak. Pathetic, honestly. I should’ve stood up for myself.”
“No. You were abused and preyed upon, Miranda.”
I shrugged. “I was supposed to be telling you about birth—I’m sorry.”
His voice was soft, reassuring. “Don’t apologize. Tell me whatever you want. I want to know everything about you.”
I sniffed, shifting away from Jack. “Kacey was born via c-section.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, Kacey was in distress for some reason and they opted to give me a c-section, especially due to my uterus. They didn’t want to take chances.”
