Miranda
Isighed as I sat on the edge of the garden bed, propping my cup of coffee against the wooden barrier and starting the checklist. I put on a glove and flipped over the cucumber leaves, systematically searching for eggs.
I wasn’t sure how much my heart could take. In some ways, I was finally getting the things I wanted for Kacey, but reality looked nothing like my imagination. I had wanted all these things for years—but not this way.
Last night, I walked Jack through Kacey’s nighttime routine. Bath, jammies, teeth, snuggle, book, milk in sippy cup. Seeing Jack bent over sweet Kacey’s little head to read Goodnight Moon was everything I hoped for.
To everyone watching, Jack was hardened, rough, insensitive. But to me, Jack was like a giant teddy bear. I had always loved that about him—that he reserved his softness for me alone. Used to anyway.
But now, it was for Kacey. And I loved that.
The thing missing from the reality wasus.Me and Jack. I was painfully aware I was showing Jack the ropes so we could do it separately. Whereas in my imaginings, we were alwaystogether.
Togetherness is the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted. Sometimes, I felt a little self-conscious about the fact I didn’t have big goals or dreams. I considered myself a little vanilla. Sweet but boring. My version of fun was curling up and reading a book, doing a craft, or making dinner together. My goal in life was having a happy family—it’s the one thing I’ve wanted and the one thing I’ve nevereverhad.
For a time, Jack and I were happy. But my dreams were shattered the first time before we returned from our honeymoon. Our marriage wasn’t ready.
A flapping screen door jerked me from my thoughts and I looked up to see Richard hobbling. I stood and walked to the fence.
“Richard! Good morning!”
“Well, hey there, young lady.” He was moving slow, painfully.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
I went to our gate and opened it, calling Kacey to follow me into Richard’s yard. Richard tried to ease into a patio chair and I rushed forward to help him.
“Richard, oh my goodness, are you hurt?”
“No, not really.” He clapped a hand against his torso. “This old body’s seen worse.”
“Well, you weren’t moving like this a couple days ago, so what happened?”
“I had a little fall is all.”
“You fell?!”
He moved his shoulders, like he was uncomfortable divulging the details.
“Were you able to get up? When did this happen?”
“My daughter-in-law, Cynthia, stopped by to drop off food. She found me and helped me right up. Took me to see the doctor.”
“You are lucky you didn’t break anything. How long were you down?”
He moved his shoulders again.
“How long?”
“A little while.”
“Please tell me.”
“About six hours.”
“Six hours?!”
That was completely unacceptable! I should have checked on him when I didn’t see him out yesterday morning. But then, with Kacey and Jack, and Barnes and Noble, I got busy and didn’t come back outside.
