He drew back and looked me dead in the eyes. “For letting me get to know my daughter a bit. Got fourteen years to make up for.”
Debbie met us in the main room and told me to do my homework while she talked to Pat for a little while. I knew I wouldn’t get anything done, but I unzipped my backpack to humor her. Pat’s voice was ringing as he disappeared back into the visitation room with Debbie. He glanced at me one more time and smiled. He was happy, I could tell.
I was happy too, and it scared me. My plan was being ruined.
I don’t hate him. Not in the slightest.
FORTY
Patrick
“You two seemed to hit it off.” Debbie sat in a chair at the table. I sat across from her. All of this felt so official. Thinking straight was going to be nigh impossible. I had just met my beautiful daughter. In the span of two hours, I fell hard. I had no idea how my child was still in the system, but my plan was to get her out.
“I hope so.” I shook my head, still in disbelief.
“I’m assuming your intentions are still to petition for your parental rights?”
“Absolutely. Now more than ever.”
“Okay, well, I can answer some of your questions about Sunny and about the process.”
“Great.” I nodded. Where would I begin? The questions were swirling in my head like a storm. “Why hasn’t she been adopted already, Debbie? When kids go into the system as babies, don’t they usually get adopted? Her mom said she was relinquished. I’m not sure what that means.”
“Sunny was adopted.” Debbie’s face was flat, her tone matching. “Patrick, she’s been down a very rough road.”
I swallowed down a surge of emotions. Man, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. My hope was she had never known anything but love and safety and family. Debbie’s face communicated something different.
“Her mom relinquished her at birth. When Sunny was born, she was having withdrawals. When a pregnant woman is on drugs, the drugs are in the baby’s bloodstream too. When the baby is born, they experience a very sudden, intense withdrawal. Because of that, DSS is usually alerted, and a caseworker comes to the hospital to speak to the mother about taking the child into emergency care while the mom gets the help and recovery she needs. Sunny’s mom chose to relinquish her rather than seek recovery and work toward reunification one day.”
I fisted a tissue. My chest hurt.
“The foster couple Sunny was placed with fell in love with her. They were not able to have children of their own, and they loved her very much. They fostered her until their adoption became official. That’s why Sunny’s last name is Mason.”
Then why was Sunny in foster care now? I knew the answer was going to gut me. I almost didn’t want to know.
“The Masons did a lot for her.” She shifted in her chair. “They helped her through all the withdrawals, which is not a task for the faint of heart. And Sunny has congenital heart disease. She has had multiple surgeries, gets sick often, and visits her cardiologist once a month. The Masons took care of Sunny through all those surgeries. Then, when Sunny was about six, they passed away very tragically.”
My stomach twisted.
“Oh man.”
“Yeah, she’s still reeling from it, I think.” Debbie shook her head. “The court tried to place Sunny with some family members of the Masons, but they didn’t bond well with her because she wasn’t a biological child. The grandma was too old to take her and the aunt didn’t want to. The couple the Masons had named on their will as guardians for Sunny were divorced, and the will hadn’t updated. Obviously, they declined to take her as well.”
She shook her head. “I hate being the one to deliver all this news to you. Once she was back in foster care, she had two really bad experiences. The first family she was placed with was very chaotic. We didn’t know the relationship between the husband and wife was violent, but it was. One of the children in their home told their teacher, and all the children got removed immediately. Sunny was with them about eighteen months.”
I hoped her monologue would end soon. Hoped Sunny’s suffering wasn’t endless.
“The foster family after that was fostering for the paycheck. We learned after some time the children were being neglected and they—even their biological children—were removed. At that point, Sunny was old enough to be placed in a children’s home. We do our best to screen families and do everything we can to protect the children, but sometimes it happens. It’s unusual for one child to have such a long string of bad luck.”
I thought of Gracie and the tremendous amount of abuse she endured. My throat squeezed, and I had to force my next question out. “Debbie, did any—did any of them hurt her?”
She shook her head. “Not that we know.”
Air tumbled out of my lungs at her answer. “How does she live with all that?”
Debbie’s eyes misted. “Kids who go through these types of situations have attachment issues—sometimes severe attachment issues. Their hearts are eager to latch on to someone, but they are afraid. Loving family and therapy can heal the wounds with time. But, it won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight.”
Imagining all my daughter had been forced to endure made me feel sick. I cleared my throat, pressing the wave of emotion down. Being Sunny’s safe place and loving her would be a high calling. And I hadn’t even asked about the heart disease yet. How on earth had she survived so much pain?
