She stood to browse the collection, squeezing between my chair and the shelf. The close proximity made it impossible to not notice how attractive she was. Her backside was at eye level. I trained my focus on the book. She was beautiful, but invasive and annoying. I rolled my eyes as she plopped back onto the ottoman empty-handed and pulled out her phone.
The words on the pages of Hugo didn’t hit my brain. I blankly stared at them, eavesdropping on a conversation happening across the room. Jeff, the homeowner, and an older gentleman chatted about Jeff’s recent injury. He had fallen or something, shattering his radius. His arm was frozen in a cast.
“How is the pain now?”
“Man, it was horrible after surgery, but they gave me some good meds to help me cope. I don’t need them much now, mainly at night to help me sleep. Getting comfortable is still a problem.”
They went on to discuss Jeff’s desk job and stock investments. But Jeff’s previous words knocked around my head.
“To help me sleep.”
How long had it been since I really slept? Years maybe. Every single time I closed my eyes, the memories haunted me. The idea of sleeping—of forgetting for a while—pulled on my desires. That would feel good. So good.
I wonder if I could have a few of those pills.
Julia’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “It is a ruse. You haven’t turned a page in five minutes.”
“Fine. It was a ruse.” I stood and shelved the book, deciding to walk back to the apartments. Wasn’t that far. “See you around.”
Before I could give my intentions a once over, my feet carried me away from the front room and down the long hallway. I took a couple deep breaths as I silently plodded past the main bathroom and toward the master bedroom. The laughter and music from the party faded with distance. The hall and rooms beyond were quiet. I stopped as I passed open doorways to make sure I wouldn’t be seen. If I was, the plan was to play drunk and pretend I thought there was a tour happening.
I reached the master door and slipped inside. If Jeff and Kenzie were like normal people, their medications would be on a nightstand, in a medicine cabinet, or on the bathroom sink. Considering their home was being displayed at the moment, I’d bet my money on a cabinet.
The bathroom was something you’d see from HGTV, but I didn’t stop to admire. There was a huge mirror over the sink and another, smaller mirror above a vanity.
I rubbed my left pec and took a painful breath, stealing a glance in the mirror. My reflection didn’t appear as chaotic as I felt. Even though I could feel my heart racing and the sweat dampening my palms, I practiced a quick poker face and opened the smaller mirror.
The hinges whined, and I froze. Laughter erupted from far away; surely no one heard the thief. I pulled slowly on the mirror, and this time it opened in silence. I scanned the contents of the cupboard: Tums, Tylenol, Gas-x, Zyrtec, and a few prescriptions. Finding Jeff’s recently prescribed pills took about eight seconds.
I reached for them and paused. Was this what I had stooped to? Stealing medication from a wounded client? How had I fallen this far? My fingers tingled with indecision.
This is wrong.
More laughter flitted down the hall. No one would hear.
Just want to forget.
I grabbed the first bottle and cupped it into my hands to mute the clacking of pills as I turned it over and released the cap. I took six from each bottle and stuck them in the back pocket of my wallet to keep my death sentence company. That seemed fitting. The cabinet door closed back without a sound, minus the small click of the magnet engaging the frame.
I shoved my shaking hands into my jeans pockets and exited the bathroom. The whole ordeal took less than two minutes. In and out with pills in hand.
My heart sat like a bag of rocks in my chest. I hated myself.
I put on the poker face and strode into the main room. Julia had moved from the ottoman and taken my old chair. She didn’t notice me leaving. I located Jeff as I entered the courtyard area and congratulated him on his home. He swooned over Valdez Construction Group and clapped me on the back with his good arm like I was an old friend. He said, “Valdez only hires the best!”
The pills burned me through the leather of my wallet. Couldn’t breathe. Had to escape.
Jeff wouldn’t have said that if he’d known who I was.
I gulped for air when I was alone and swore I’d never use the pills, cursing myself for stealing them in the first place.
* * *
Glenda had just sauntered up to the podium. I arrived in the nick of time.
The mid-forties woman stood behind a metal platform and cleared her throat. She adjusted the leather belt around her waist, heaving it upward. Her pants still sagged, but she smiled and began the schpeel. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is the regular meeting of the Westside Group of Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is Glenda, and I’m an alcoholic and your secretary.”
The room seemed more crowded than usual. Westside Group in Nashville was on the large side. A fact I wouldn’t complain about. The size provided the chance to slip in and out. It was only my third time attending AA, and I had to introduce myself last time. That part was torture, but otherwise, AA wasn’t all bad. Tolerable, anyway.
