Danny nodded in understanding.
I nodded toward the house. “Thanks for keeping everything up. I owe you one.”
He chuckled. Laughing made him cough a couple times. “Didn’t do it for free. Your mama made sure everything was taken care of. Told me to keep it up until you were ready.”
What he didn’t say is that hewould’vedone it for free. He and my dad had worked out of the shop on our property, fixing cars and trucks and having the time of their lives. He loved my family. Would’ve given me the very shirt off his back if I asked.
He turned to walk toward the shop, and said over his shoulder with a wink. “Plus I still got to use the shop. A deal in my book.”
I followed him as we made small talk for a few minutes. I told him all about construction, and he dogged the field. Said I’d make a better living with automobiles. He was probably right because I hated construction. He showed me a couple projects he had going in the shop. Aside from the usual fixes, he was restoring a vintage Pontiac GTO. A 1970. She was a beauty. My dad would’ve loved her, too. Wished he could’ve been there with us, gushing and tinkering under the hood.
My eyes teared up, and the fierce pain in my chest made me gasp. Chest pains. They were the reason I wasn’t ready to be back in Pleasant Gap. The pain was worse here.
I made a few excuses to Danny on why I had to scoot. He cocked an eyebrow, seeing straight through me. “When you’re up for it, come back here and I’ll let ya help me.”
“Yes, sir.” I turned to go.
“Patrick?”
“Yes, sir?”
“You’re a good man. A lot like Kevin.” He tapped his cigarette butt out on the workbench. “Don’t let what’s in the past hold you back.”
His words knocked the breath out of me. I shook my head.
“Why you wagging your head at that?”
“I’m nothing like Dad.”
“A bunch of bull and you know it.” He spat and waved at the whole of me. “You got Moore blood running through your veins. A dumb decision as a kid don’t change blood.” He leaned down, looking into the hood of a Honda, spiel apparently over.
“I didn’t do it.”
He looked up. A few beats of silence passed as his aged, gray eyes studied my face. He smiled then chuckled under his breath. Coughed twice. “I figured you’d tell me that one day. But was starting to worry I might not live to see it.”
“You—you knew?”
“I didn’t know. Ifigured. Why’d you say you did?”
“He threatened her.”
Danny straightened and scratched his scruff, letting my words sink in. “I stand by what I said. Kevin Moore loved fiercely. Didn’t believe in lovin’ any less. If spending fourteen years in prison for the love of a woman isn’t something Kev would do, I don’t know what is.” He leaned back into the Honda, muttering, “got Kev written all over it.”
I wanted to respond. Wanted to thank him for saying such a thing. But I couldn’t. My chest heaved, and I rolled my eyes around to keep the tears from leaking out. Danny knew. Did Mama know too? The blend of relief and regret threatened to drown me. I stepped out of the shop and headed to the Tacoma to fetch the urn.
“A lot like Kevin.”
The words almost broke me.
“Didn’t believe in lovin’ any less.”
Mama had always told me I was a lover like Dad, but until this very moment, I’d never considered the implications. I’d assumed my Dad would be ashamed of the decisions I’d made, but Danny’s words called that into question. Maybe Kevin Moore would’ve done the exact same thing.
After a few moments, I was able to toss thoughts of my parents to the side and get myself under control. There was one more thing I had to do, then I could bust out of this place. I swiped the tears off my face, tucked the urn in my elbow, and headed to the river, Valiant leaping through the long grass behind me.
* * *
The walk to the river felt like a march to the gallows. The conversation with Danny had set my brain on the fritz. Making it through this goodbye would be a sheer miracle. Gracie’s urn was smooth in my hand. I clutched it against my chest, hating the idea of letting her go.
