The wind was steadier up here. It was refreshing. Warm yet cooling. Something turned deep in my stomach though, stealing the pleasure out of the moment. The climb wasn’t hard enough. Something in mewantedto feel the fear when my toe did slip. To feel the panic of not knowing where to step next. To worry I might not make it to the top.
My gaze fell to Gina and Blake again. Gina was wiping her eyes. I shuddered. What if I had fallen and my best friend had to live it down for the rest of her life?
What I did was selfish.
But I’d always been selfish. My life would be dramatically different if I wasn’t.
My chest heaved with my breaths.
Gina’s voice boomed. “We are leaving, Jules. Get down here!”
“That was awesome! You guys don’t want to climb?”
“Not anymore.” She was spitting fire. Blake was already packing the bags.
“We just got here!”
No answer.
I sighed. The hike down would take me a while. There were no clear paths. I started down, picking my way through the underbrush.
The adrenaline was already wearing off. And now it was time to meet the wrath of Gina. The petite Hispanic produced a different kind of adrenaline in her foes. She could be downright terrifying.
She stood with her arms crossed, waiting for me to step out of the woods. When I did, she let me have it.
“I’ve had enough of you!” Gina raised her voice, not waiting for me to get closer.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re stupid and reckless and could’ve gotten yourself killed.” Her voice was wobbling and her eyes were puffy from crying.
“But I didn’t. The last bit was really easy.”
“That’s not the point!”
“I don’t get it then.”
Blake cut in. “When we climb, we have to be able to trust each other.”
“Our lives literally depend on each other, Jules.” Her voice broke as emotions surged up again. “What you did was a breach of trust. We would’ve watched you fall, helpless to do anything to save you. You could be dead.”
And that was the problem, wasn’t it? Ishouldbe dead. Should’ve been a long, long time ago. I dropped my head down to loosen my harness so they wouldn’t see me roll my eyes.
“Sorry! I was trying to have some fun. Next time I’ll follow the rules, I guess.”
“There’s not going to be a next time.”
I didn’t expect that. I scoffed, “What?”
Blake shouldered our rope. Gina put her hands on her hips. “We won’t be doing anything else dangerous with you, because we can’t trust you with our lives anymore.”
“Because of one little thing? I said I was sorry!” My voice rose. The crash from the high was always the worst part of the high.
“It’s not just one little thing.” She shook her head in disbelief. “You’ve been toeing the line on stupid for a long time now. You go too fast, leave your gear on the ground and step on it, don’t follow proper procedures, take short cuts, and seem distracted.” Her voice softened. “We’ve had this conversation before, Jules.”
“I don’t rememb—“
“You don’twantto remember.” Her chocolate eyes bore into mine. The statement held a lot of meaning, and she said it on purpose.
