At her door, she turned to me. I swallowed hard and shoved my hands into my pockets. “Pat, tonight was the most fun I’ve had in a while.”
“Yeah—yeah, me too.” The streetlight cast a yellow glow over her face, highlighting her high cheekbones and flawless skin. My pulse quickened. Maybe people did kiss on first dates. I could get used to the idea pretty quick.
“Thank you for inviting me.” With a smile, she adjusted her purse strap, lifted her face, and held up one hand in an invitation. She moved forward to close the distance between us.
Here we go.
My breath caught in my throat—surely this was not about to happen. Without my brain granting permission, I leaned in and lowered my face to hers.
“Whoa!” She jerked back. Nervous laughter bubbled out of her, and I jerked back too. She hit me on the shoulder and laughed again, scolding me. “I wanted a hug!”
I am an idiot.
I rubbed my forehead with my hand and then covered my mouth. I wished I could dissolve right there on the sidewalk. The stupidity of assuming she wanted to kiss me made me want to throw myself off the top of the building. Her eyes sparkled with laughter and confusion. I didn’t know what to say. “Gosh—Jules, I’m—I’m such an idiot.” Heat radiated off my body. My gut clenched so hard, I thought I was going to be sick. “I haven’t—haven’t gone out with a woman in a long time. I didn’t know if I was supposed—supposed to, I don’t know…” I stammered around like a blubbering fool.
She mercifully put me out of my misery. “Pat! Pat, it's okay. You just surprised me, that’s all! Oh you poor thing! Your face is as red as a tomato.” She squeezed my arm as her giggling died down. “That does bring me to something I should probably say though.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and braced myself. “Shoot.”
“Obviously, I haven’t known you long, and I don’t know what your intentions are.” She shifted and her flip-flops squeaked. “I’ve had a really crazy few years, and I’m not looking for anything super serious right now.” A weight rolled off my chest. “I’m fine with hanging out, but I’d need to keep it casual.”
“I can do casual.” I needed to hear those words. I had so many things to work out. I still had to find Gracie and decide what to do with the Pleasant Gap house. “Probably best for me, too.”
She cocked her head. “Also, we are both in AA. Isn’t that a rule? You aren’t supposed to date in your first year of recovery?” She chuckled and hit my arm in jest again. “So, you can’t kiss me, Patrick!”
Heat crawled up my neck once more and I held my hands up in surrender. “Trust me, lady. Won’t be making that mistake again.”
She laughed and raised both arms this time. “How about a hug?”
A smile tugged at the sides of my mouth as I stepped forward into her embrace. Jules’ arms came around my neck. The touch sent shockwaves through my body. Unexpected tears heated my eyes as relief washed over me. Standing under the street light, arms loosely around her back, it occurred to me that aside from Danny’s shoulder-clap thing he would give me on his infrequent visits to Riverbend, I hadn’t been touched in over a decade. It was medicine to my soul. My arms twitched as I fought the desire to pull her close, nuzzle her hair, and tangle up in any way possible. She had no idea how hungry I was for contact. To be close to someone. Anyone, really.
Man alive, she smelled good, too. Like vanilla.
I could still do casual though.
She pulled away too quickly. My arms never felt emptier. She said goodnight and the deadbolt of her door clicked behind her. The walk to my own apartment was torture. My cold bed and dark room waited for me. I’d rather be anywhere but there. With anyone versus being alone.
I turned the key slowly to not wake Fray and Carl. My phone dinged. The name on the screen ticked my pulse up a notch. It was Melissa:
“I talked to my sister. She said the girl in the photo went by the name ‘Tracy’ and she did stay with us for like a week a loooong time ago. My sis said she moved to Colorado or something like that. They lost touch after a couple years. Sorry that’s all the information I have.”
I tapped a thank you message into the text box.
My heart raced as I considered what the text might mean. If she moved to Colorado, maybe the Denver address was where I should look next. A quick Google search didn’t tie the names Gracie or Tracy to that house.
So I decided to fly there over the weekend. Fly out Friday and be back by Sunday. Carl would probably let me have the day off so I could start early.
Before I could finish booking the tickets, my phone dinged again. Jules:
“Hey, I still had your digits on my counter. You want to go to a cooking class Saturday night? Maybe we can learn to cook something other than Cup-o-Noodles.”
I tapped a response:Sorry. Going to be out of town. Next Saturday?
I finished booking the tickets, showered, and fell into bed, knowing sleep would be right near impossible. Between living down the kiss attempt and planning the upcoming travel, I was neck-deep in thoughts.
SIXTEEN
Patrick
