Pendajo.
Realizing that he’d doneit to rile me didn’t keep all my insecurities from sliding to the front of my mind.
And then, after all that, he’d thrown my feelings for him back in my face. Feelings I had no desire to dissect or examine right now.
Olivia wandered into the kitchen, eyeing me as she sipped her margarita.
“Can I help you?” I asked, scrubbing off the pan I’d used to make the taco meat.
“Were you planning on giving Ben the cold-shoulder all night?”
“I’m not,” I grumbled, brushing my hair out of my eyes with the back of my hand.
She hopped up on the counter next to me. “You are. What’s the deal with you two?”
My shoulders slumped in defeat.
“I don’t know. The lines are all blurred. I thought I could do this without feelings getting involved. But it’s just... ugh! I’m in over my head with him.”
I didn’t know what we were doing, how I felt or how he felt or if he even felt anything at all.
“Maybe you need to draw new lines instead of constantly trying to fix the old ones.”
I sighed, rinsing the pan. “Maybe.” I wasn’t ready to give up on the lines I’d already drawn. I didn’t want to admit that my feelings wereon the verge of exploding out of that tiny box I’d put them in.
“You’re scared,” she said.
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “Yeah. I don’t want to go all in on us and then have him bail the next day. He’s not the relationship type.”
“It’s okay to be scared. But the way Ben looks at you? It’s different, Eve. He’s enamored. Like a lovesick puppy. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone. And maybe he’s a little scared, too.”
I snorted.
She reached out to rub my arm soothingly. “I realize you have a lot happening right now. I just don’t want to see you throw something away that could be really great if you gave it a chance.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be enough for him. Enough to hold his attention. Enough to truly have him and keep him.”
“You’re good enough to keep him, Eve. But only if you let him have you. You’re going to have to open up and be a little vulnerable.”
She hugged me, and I let my arguments die on my lips.She went back into the other room to let me turn over everything she'd said.
I didn’t know if I couldbe any more vulnerable. If I could open up and let Ben have all of me. The idea was terrifying.
Eventually, I stopped finding things to do in the kitchen and wandered into the living room, plopping down on Ben’s lap since all the chairs had been taken.
He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tight against him.
“There’s my girl,” he murmured in my ear. “You’ve been avoiding me again.”
“I have not,” I said, heat flaring under my skin.
His lips brushed over my shoulder to my neck. “You have, but I probably deserved it this time.” He nipped at my flesh, and I squirmed against him, hating how he knew exactly where to touch me to make me forget why I shouldn’t let my guard down. He was a heartbreak waiting to happen. And I didn’t have time to repair a broken heart.
He traced circles on my inner thigh while his teeth bit into my neck. I glanced around the room, grateful that our friends were all focused on the baseball game. My legs parted further, my body’s invitation despite my brain’s protest to him touching me like this in a room full of people.
My God, what had gotten into me? I fought the urge to grind myself against his thigh, biting back a whine of frustration.
“Are you wet for me right now, princess?” Ben whispered in my ear.
