“We aren’t talking about me right now,” she said, scanning me up and down like she was disappointed that I would stoop so low.
I eyed her. “Feels like you could take your own advice.”
“Your thing isn’t even remotely similar to my thing.”
I dug my heels in, poking at her some more.
“Why don’t you go up to his office and let him know how you’ve been crushing on him since you started working here?”
She huffed. “You’re the worst. I’m leaving.”
I laughed as she threw the door open and stomped out of my office. Despite the fact that I couldn’t help giving her shit, I had to admit she had a point. Maybe Ineeded to be honest and tell Eve how I felt.
Why was that so terrifying? Had I ever had to man up and profess my feelings to anyone? Not in the last decade at least. I’d grown averse to talking about feelings, or maybe I’d never learned how to do it properly since neither of my parents were big on deep emotional discussions.
I settled into my chair, swiveling it back and forth, trying to quiet the cacophony of thoughts filling my head.
What if she didn’t feel the same way I did? Was it worth the risk of ruining what we had for the chance to make this more?
Sticking to the rules Eve had laid out was wearing on me. I missed seeing her. I wanted to be with her more than one or two nights a week. And trying to continue to keep things light and shallow was becoming impossible when all I wanted to do was to tell her how much I cared about her. How much she meant to me. And that I wanted to spend every free minute with her.
What we had was fun. And a year ago, I might have been perfectly content with fun, but I was ready for more than that. And after blowing it with her once, I wanted to make sure this time she understood where my head was at. Where my heart was at.
I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. I wouldn’t leave her thinking that she didn’t matter to me or that she was just another woman in a revolving door of others.
She deserved to know that what we had was more to me than sex. She mattered more to me than anyone else. Now that I had accepted that, all that was left to do was put my heart... and dick on the line and tell her.
Something Wretched This Way Comes
Eve
Ben: If you keep avoiding me, I’ll resort to using Brian.
Eve: I’m not avoiding you.
Ben: Liar.
Eve: Work’s been insanely busy.
Ben: Too busy to pick up a phone after rehearsal is over and call me back?
Eve: Yes. :(
MaybeIwasavoidinghim a little, but I needed some time to get my head on right. To remember why things with me and Ben would never work. Why I could never hold his attention for long.
I didn’t want him freaking out about me catching feelings. I was fine. What we had was fun.
Just. Fun.
My feelings for Ben were wrapped up, nice and neat, in their little box. An extra day or two to nail down the lid was all I needed. Ben could survive a couple more days without sex. I was suffering right along with him in my effort to maintain these damn friends with benefits boundaries.
I hadn’t lied to Ben. Work really was incredibly busy. Getting through rehearsals while having members of the cast suspects in an ongoing murder investigation wasn’t ideal. Swings and understudies were getting their practice in while detectives questioned everyone several times.
During the questioning, Warren’s name had been cleared, and he was no longer a suspect in Cheryl’s death. While he may have threatened her, he’d been in the rehearsal room with the cast the entire morning. There wasn’t an opportunity for him to switch out Cheryl’s salad dressing.
Exhaustion was setting in. Blake and Michelle had a sore throat. Scarlette had dark circles under her eyes, likely a side effect from the pressure of taking over for Cheryl. Ed was snapping at anyone who so much as breathed in his direction. It wasn’t a good time for a date with Ben.
I gripped my water bottle and hiked up the stairs from the atrium to our big rehearsal studio. I nodded hello to Warren as I stashed my bag against the wall.
