Nikias gritted his teeth as each word dug into the wounds he was still bleeding from. “You already had her good opinion. You’d already saved her from me at that point. She trusted you.”
He had none of those advantages needed to salvage his match.
“And for all that she claims to hate you, how did Aimilia react?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then tell me what is.”
If it would get Gavril to go away…
“Aimiliasaw—” Nikias took a deep breath. “Now she knows the truth. She might not believe me to be as cold and malicious as before, but what she sees isworse.”
“What are you talking about? She doesn’t think less of you. She didn’t think less of me. When Aimilia found out with me, she didn’t think poorly of me at all. She was enraged.”
“I’d rather take another glass to the face than have her see me the way she saw you.”
Gavril’s expression darkened. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Nikias fixed Gavril with a pointed look. “The last thing I want is for the woman I’m trying to marry to see me as a weak, frightened, pathetic little boy who needs someone to protect him.”
Gavril sucked in a sharp breath, face losing all color. “Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll remember soon enough every other day of the week you’re something to be protected from. I see nowthis is just your wounded pride, like always. I hope you manage to get it together because Hypatia will sniff it out on you like a bloodhound and we can’t pay the price if you let your pride get in the way of us working together. Aimilia deserves far better, and I’ll be relieved the day you’re dragged down the aisle and Aimilia isn’t there with you.”
Gavril brought his horse to a dead stop, and Nikias went on ahead, leaving him behind.
The next time he was on watch was the day before they would reach the Desero estate. The day before he would face Hypatia. He was doing a double shift. He wasn’t going to sleep anyway, so he might as well be useful.
One hand rested over his heart, outside his chiton, but if he pressed his fingers down firmly, he could feel the rough, raised edges of the intricate scar resting over his beating heart.
“You’ve done it before.”
At the sound of her voice, Nikias ripped his hand away and turned as Aimilia sat next to him, this time on a log.
“I don’t know why you keep coming out here, Commander.”
“You’ll figure it out.” Aimilia stretched her legs out as she braced her hands on the log. “Back to what I was saying, I’m not going to pretend to understand what you’re thinking and feeling right now, but at least this time you don’t have to worry about hostages.”
Nikias did let out of a soft huff. “I suppose that’s true.”
“And if Marcella is to be believed, we’re likely going to be dealing more with Konstantin than Hypatia. That will make everything go far more easily.”
“I’m still preparing for the worst.” Nikias’ couldn’t stop feeling his heart thud again and again against his scar. Hypatia, however little of her they saw, was going to relish this.
Gavril had a point. Hypatia was going to sniff out his weakness immediately. She had last time.
“I don’t blame you,” Aimilia said, but there was a weight to her words as if she meant them twice over.
Nikias didn’t know what to say.
At his silence, Aimilia nodded and said, “I’ve never told you this, but I used to admire you.”
Nikias’ heart was in his mouth, falling out in two broken words. “Used to?”
“Fine, I guess I still admire this about you, but it’s not a thing to be replicated, so it’s not the same as before. The one thing I admired about you was the way you loved Faustina.” Aimilia’s soft smile cut through him, carefully digging into every line of his scar. “It was almost like you were a completely different person with her. A better person most of the time. I won’t belabor the point, but it was the only good thing I thought about you for the longest time. At least you were capable of such selflessness and devotion. To be loved the way you loved her…”
Aimilia took a slow shaky breath. “You want to know why I tried to get under your skin with it? I was jealous.”
Once again she’d rendered him speechless. She didn’t mean—No. She couldn’t?—
