Aimilia shot him a grin and said, “Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite fight.”
He was?
“What…” Why was his mouth so dry? “What was the fight about?”
“A lot. And nothing at all. I don’t really remember everything they said. I just remember what set me off.” Aimilia curled in on herself, wrapping one arm around her knees, the other reaching up and pushing her braid over her shoulder. “They, uh—I see now they were just jealous, um, and catty. They uh—They were telling me it didn’t matter that Gavril and I were friends. He was just using me because I was a good student to improve his standing in the class. It wasn’t like I actually stood a chance of being his wife. He’d never propose to me. He would never want his children to possibly end up with tomato hair and covered in unsightly freckles. Of course, that would require him even being able to stand the sight of me to get that far, not that there’s anything to see other than my height.”
Aimilia gestured toward herself.
Nikias kept his mouth shut as Aimilia took a deep breath, tilted her head back and then continued, “We were in the apodyterium and I took out a chunk of the wall. I even took out a few teeth of one of them. The suspension was worth it. Gavril… he doesn’t know any of this. I never told him why the fight started. I never plan to.”
Nikias didn’t know what to say. His marble tongue wouldn’t move.
Aimilia closed her eyes. “I think the worst part now is that they were right. I was just too blind and stubborn and in love to see how much my feelings weren’t returned.”
“They were wrong.” Finally, some words came out in an awkward, breathy rush.
Aimilia chuckled, reaching up and wiping at her eyes again, not looking him in the eyes. “I appreciate it, but come on, Gavril never proposed. He couldn’t bring himself to after our graduation tournament. He would have rather been beaten by your parents than marry me. So, they were right.”
“I should never have said that.”
But how could he tell her the only reason he’d said it was because he’d been sick with jealousy, desperate to grab her and make her stop looking at Gavril and to finally see him?
He couldn’t.
For whatever reason she was doing this, it wasn’t because she returned his affections.
Aimilia shrugged. “It was true. I just didn’t want to accept it at the time.”
“My brother is a fool.”
“Maybe, but it all worked out eventually.” She leaned back, letting her braid hang in the air as she looked up at the sky. “Gavril meant well, he always did, but I won’t lie and say it’s not still a splinter in my heart that there was still something about me, no matter how good a friend I was, he could never stomach it enough to make me more. But now we have Marcella, and we have peace—sort of.” She turned to Nikias again and smiled, but he could still see the pain hiding in her eyes. “What’s a little splinter in the face of all that?”
“Why…” Nikias’ fingers curled into his knee before he did something stupid like try to pull her into his arms the way he had that day in the hallway, or worse, kiss her. “Why are you telling me this?”
Aimilia just pushed herself to her feet, taking a deep breath. “Goodnight, Nikias.”
They traveled deeper into the clan lands and closer and closer to Desero’s lands where Hypatia and Konstantin were at the moment. The next day, Nikias rode at the front, alone save for the two guards who also rode point with him. That was until a shock of blond hair trotted into his field of vision.
With a wave of his hand, the guards started to fall back slightly while Nikias and Gavril rode ahead. Nikias looked over his shoulder, spotting Aimilia and Marcella together as usual, Marcella attempting to return the favor Aimilia had once done her, educating her in her tongue. Aimilia, however, was stifling a yawn.
Gavril immediately said, “You’re acting… Well, actually, this isn’t out of character for you, but you’re being more of it, and considering who we’re about to see?—”
Nikias wasn’t in the mood to see anyone at the moment, but his brother was at the bottom of the list, especially considering Aimilia’s latest confession had just stoked Nikias’ jealousy and fury at Gavril.
“Aimilia ran her mouth off to you. You know exactly what this mood is for.” Nikias kept his gaze ahead, reins gripped tightly in his hands.
“Actually, no. Frankly, I don’t understand anything you’ve been doing lately. You were all over her before, and now that she’s seeing you differently, why aren’t you taking advantage of it?”
“Maybe I don’t want her to see me differently.”
Nikias shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have said anything. He was not having this conversation with Gavril.
“If there is anyone who understands what you’re feeling right now, it’s me. And I know we don’t talk about it.” Gavril looked over his shoulder. No one was close enough to hear and a silencing rune would just arouse more suspicion.
Nikias still wished he would shut up.
“Believe me, the last thing I want to do right now is talk about this with you and help you at all with your insane quest to marry Aimilia.” Gavril steered his horse even closer and lowered his voice. “When Marcella found out, I don’t think I’d ever felt so small before. Like a bigger mess. Like the worst failure, exposed for the woman I loved to see how pathetic I truly was.”
