Which made no sense.
Any softness Nikias possessed had been buried along with his wife.
“I’m still angry at you.”
“I know.” Nikias’ hand brushed the edge of her cloak, pooling on the stone bench in the gap between them. “I’m sorry.”
Aimilia’s eyes nearly fell out of her skull. Who was this man and where was the real Nikias?
She stayed silent and Nikias continued, “He should be more considerate to you after everything you’ve done for him.”
Her eyes welled up again. “He’s in love. You know better than anyone else how that blinds you to everything and everyone else.”
“How many times does he have to break your heart before you stop making excuses for him?” Nikias’ firm voice cut through the air. “He may have all the best intentions in the world. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t hurt you.”
Aimilia squeezed her eyes shut, trying to trap the water threatening to spill over. “You are the last person in any position to cast any judgment.”
“This isn’t about me. You don’t have to defend him.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Aimilia choked on a sob before she managed to get out, “I love him. He married someone else, and I still love him.”
Nikias’ hand brushing her leg had her opening her eyes even as the tears spilled over. “Still?”
Aimilia nodded, unable to say it again as she cried. Her hand sank into her cloak over her heart as she took a few stuttering breaths. “That—That’s why it hurts so much.”
Another sob wracked her body, and she curled into herself again when suddenly she was being moved. She gasped as she came crashing into something warm and solid. Her hands fumbled and she found more fabric as she couldn’t stop her crying.
Nikias was?—
What was hedoing?
His good arm tightened around her.
Aimilia should push him away or hit his bad arm to ensure her escape, but instead she let him hold her against his chest. She let out a few ugly, hiccupping sobs. “I wish—Nikias, I wish I didn’t. But I do. I don’t want to keep loving him. I’ve loved him for so long, I don’t know how not to. N—Nikias, how can I bear it?”
Somehow Nikias pulled her closer. He rested his head against hers. He murmured, “It won’t always hurt like this, I promise.”
She let out another wretched sob. Like he could talk. She was asking the wrong person for advice on how not to spend the rest of her life in agony, loving someone who was forever lost. But at least Nikias had had a time when his feelings had been returned.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it.” Nikias’ soft voice was barely audible above her cries. “But it will. There will be hard days, I won’t lie to you. But little by little until you haven’t even realized it’s been fading, it will. One day, you’ll look at the world around you, and you’ll finally see past all the grief you’ve left behind. Then the grief you still carry doesn’t seem so heavy anymore. I promise you; this is not the end.”
“I don’t—” Aimilia buried her head in his neck. “If I don’t have Gavril, I don’t have anything left.”
Nikias’ hand shifted and she gasped as he softly rubbed tiny circles on her side. “That’s not true.”
“Really?” Aimilia laughed, but it was weak and she hardly moved. “What do I have left?”
Nikias’ lips shifted, and there was a soft breath and whatever it might have meant was gone as nothing came out. Instead, he held her tighter in the condemning silence. Nikias didn’t even bother with whatever platitude or lie that he’d been about to give.
Aimilia had no more strength left. She leaned against him, closing her eyes and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek.
“Exactly,” she whispered. Her palm flattened against him. She breathed out, “The second I get up, thisneverhappened.”
Nikias didn’t respond immediately. For a moment, all she heard was his breathing, and then a hoarse, “I’d expect nothing less.”
Aimilia didn’t actually get up. All she knew was that she’d woken up the next morning in her bed. She didn’t know why Nikias would have ever sought her out like that. Why he would care about her broken heart. Other than this was part of his grand scheme to grovel for Gavril’s forgiveness, but Gavril wasn’t going to find out.
What did Nikias care about Aimilia’s opinion of him?
