She would have loved him.
Chapter 66
NIKIAS
Nikias was sick of funerals.
He wanted to be done with black mourning clothes. Unfortunately, he’d have roughly three months of wearing them again until he could shed them without scandal.
Although considering the amount of gossip that was going around about him as of late, what was one more scandal to the mix?
It wasn’t like Nikias was actually mourning.
His father was finally gone. He was free, so why didn’t it feel like it?
Nikias stood with the other commanders selected to bear the casket, but he just kept looking back at the doors. Desperate and pathetic in spite of his resolve, always hoping that maybe just one more glimpse of Aimilia would satisfy him. He’d only barely gotten a glimpse of her the day before when he’d tried to visit her and Cyprian had turned him away.
Nikias had almost throttled him then and there. He would have deserved it. He was the reason she’d been in such a state to begin with.
Nikias had left only because Cyprian had promised Aimilia would be recovered and at the funeral so he could see her in perfect health himself. He’d been out of time. There’d been too much to do in order to ensure the funeral went smoothly. His mother was too distraught to be of any help, and Nikias wasn’t going to wait and hope Gavril made it in time. As if Gavril would even come for the funeral.
No. Nikias was on his own.
It was time to accept he always would be.
Even if Aimilia had been awake, she would have likely turned him away as well. She had no desire to have anything to do with him. He couldn’t blame her.
He just needed to see with his own eyes that she was well.
Maybe it would kill the nightmares that had been haunting him of her dying in his arms.
He doubted it.
Finally, the doors opened, and Nikias’ breath caught in his throat. Aimilia appeared, walking between Cyprian and her mother, Aimilia holding onto her their arms as she went down the stairs. Her black peplos and cloak nearly hid the way she was clutching them, using them to stay upright.
Nikias’ eyes flickered to Cyprian, who was watching Aimilia’s steps like a hawk. That certainly wasn’t what he’d promised.
Aimilia could hardly walk, not on her own. What had he been thinking ordering the healers to keep Aimilia under while they’d traveled?
Nikias’ stomach turned. Was Cyprian going to disown her next? Was he just waiting until after the funeral?
He shouldn’t concern himself with it. Aimilia wouldn’t want him to. But he couldn’t stop himself.
He had to let her go.
She was going to leave him behind.
Nikias glanced up at the palace. He was going to be suffocated inside those walls, with nothing in his hands as everything he’d ever loved had all escaped his desperate grip.
Commander Livus cleared his throat.
Nikias startled. Everyone was looking to him. Cyprian had been the last of the Runai they’d been waiting for in order to start the procession.
Nikias’ thoughts would still be there for him to drown in later.
The funeral passed by in a blur. Nikias was focused entirely on the mechanical motions, carrying the casket, casting in order to dig the grave. Commander Livus’ voice was a dull distant noise as he gave orders and led the procession. He watched as his mother furiously wiped at her eyes and took sharp, shuddering breaths, trying desperately not to cry.
Nikias had no idea what she was feeling. Mostly because he hadn’t been feeling anything.
