Nikias stared at her blankly in a way that almost convinced her that he had. So now it was up to her to remind him.
“I’m your little brother’s ex-fiancée, you remember? Right? His closest friend that you have never once had a civil conversation with?”
Nikias shifted back, crossing his arms and huffing. “We’ve had civil conversations!”
“Name one!”
At his silence and flushing cheeks, she pressed on, “My point is, you’ve hated me since we met. I’ve always hated you. There hasn’t been a day in the last ten years I haven’t hated you, and never more so than the last two.”
Nikias shook his head, jaw unclenching and his voice coming out frigid. “Even now? What did I do to make you hate me so much even before we met? From the start, you went out of your way to antagonize me. You never even gave me a chance back then! You hated me despite everything I’ve done.”
Aimilia swallowed the hysterical laugh threatening to bubble up her throat again. He wanted to play the victim?
“Oh no. You’ve got it all wrong!” Aimilia pushed off the edge of the fountain. “I don’t hate youdespiteeverything you’ve done. I hate youbecauseof everything you’ve done. Let me refresh your recollection. I didn’t have to meet you to hate you. I already knew you were a selfish coward who would let your parents beat achild—” Her voice cracked, and she cut herself off, refusing to let any tears rise to the surface. “You let them. I don’t care what excuses you have to justify yourself, the pathetic ways you tried to keep Gavril away from them, when it came down to it and your mother or father lifted their hands against him, you didn’t stop them. Then you went to the Academy and you left him there. You got to escape, for at least a little while, and you didnothing! Nothing but show him how to hide the bruises because you couldn’t even be bothered to learn how to heal him. You didn’t care about healing anyone until after it cost you the only thing you ever wanted.”
Her words hit Nikias blow after blow as she advanced on him. Now that she had started she couldn’t stop. Oh, for years, she had restrained herself from giving Nikias the full verbal thrashing he deserved all because Gavril insisted on it, but now?
Now she was free to tear him apart.
Nikias closed his eyes and turned his head away. He whispered, “You don’t think I regret that?”
“You asked me why I hated you before I met you. That’s why. When I discovered how your parents treated Gavril, I put the pieces together. He never blamed you, but what do you think it tells you that he so easily accepted my insistence I come with you two to the palace when your parents summoned you for dinner?” She lifted her chin. “He knew you wouldn’t protect him, but I would.”
Nikias opened his eyes and narrowed them at her. “Oh? Tell me, when did I miss you confronting my parents about their treatment of Gavril? Where then did all the bruises and black eyes and cuts come from then if after you stepped into the picture you had the power to stop them?”
Aimilia stepped back, her own guilt thrown back at her. Her breath caught as the back of her heel scraped the stone of the fountain. “Yes, I failed him too. I admit it, and I’m grateful he doesn’t hold it against me.”
Nikias took a step toward her, green eyes piercing her as his voice softened. “Yet, even though Gavril doesn’t hold my failures against me, you still insist you have any place to hate me for something where you were never wronged?”
“Oh, don’t get too high up on your horse, yet.” Aimilia shifted away from the edge, holding her hand out, just in case hedecided to move closer. “That was just the beginning of why I hated you. Let us continue to examineeverythingyou’ve done. How about the way you lied to me? When Gavril returned with Marcella, you saw how devastated I was and you took advantage of my heartbreak and you manipulated me. You used me. You tricked me into going along with your plan to get Marcella on that table so you could have her tortured because shelookedlike Hypatia! Why? Because you willneverbe over Faustina.”
Nikias’ lips shifted, but whatever objection he had never left his lips.
Aimilia took a deep breath, holding his gaze as her voice struck the silence. “The way I hated you before that was nothing compared to the way I hated you after.”
Nikias took a long, slow breath, the water trickling through the fountain the only other noise. “We have had this argument before, but I will repeat myself if I must. I may have used… certain tactics, but Ineverlied to you. I was wrong, not just for not telling you everything, but for the whole thing in the first place. I am not trying to justify myself or my actions. I was wrong, and I have accepted responsibility for that. I’m sorry, and I have spent the last year trying to make up for what I did. Both Gavril and Marcella have at least started to forgive the unforgivable things I did, and…” Nikias stared at her, fingers brushing his cloak, curling into it. “I thought you had too.”
Aimilia didn’t like the heaviness to his gaze, the force behind his words something she didn’t quite understand. Or maybe she just didn’t want to understand.
He seemed so sincere, but she’d thought that too when he’d come to her, swearing he’d take care of Marcella and ensure she got Gavril back.
She crossed her arms. “You still haven’t answered my question, and I have more than answered yours. Why, when you know all of that to be true, would you propose to me?”
Nikias didn’t answer. He turned away from her, using one hand to block his face as he stared up at the night sky. If he was hoping the stars would give him a way to explain his insanity, they were going to be waiting a long time.
Finally, he turned back, and she didn’t know why he’d hidden his face. She’d seen statues more expressive than him. She never knew what he was thinking behind his cold stone exterior.
“You…” Nikias’ voice seemed slightly strained. “You make the most sense.”
In what world?
“There are still two female commanders from your own class who aren’t married.” Aimilia gestured, hand falling and smacking her leg as she dropped it. “Two commanders who weren’t supposed to marry your younger brother.”
Nikias stepped forward. “That is precisely why you make the most sense.”
“What?”
“Gavril was supposed to propose to you. The two of you had an understanding, and even if he had the best reason in the world to break it, he did. It was dishonorable. He injured you, and don’t pretend now that you’ve begun to move on that Gavril didn’t break your heart and humiliate you in the eyes of the court.” Nikias pointed at her, but she spotted the slight shake in it even as his words grabbed at wounds she’d bandaged again and again and exposed them once more.
