Would that really be so bad?
If he did it now, would it still end with his name on her wrist as she stared at his scar and told him just how unlovable he was?
This Aimilia didn’t look at him the way that one had in the vision. Had he finally changed the future? Dare he risk confessing his love first?
He felt her presence, even just in the air. Nikias turned as part of the dance. He saw Hypatia sitting with Konstantin at thetable, slowly picking at her food, but mostly just staring at her husband with that same indecipherable expression.
He caught Aimilia’s gaze and whispered, “Isn’t it obvious?”
Could she not see it written all over him? At this point wasn’t his adoration of her as plain as day?
Aimilia shook her head slightly. “Would I be asking if it was?”
“Then my answer is this: because being married to you is worth enduring whatever it takes in order to get there.”
The dance finished, but Aimilia didn’t pull away from him. She only shifted closer. She looked up at him, a tenderness and awe in her gaze. She said, “You can’t really mean that.”
Nikias said, “And what makes you say that? Of course, I mean it. Would you like me to sing your praises again?”
Nikias reached forward, gently brushing his fingers over the loose pieces that had fallen from her braid before reaching down and running his thumb over the woven strands. “Would you like to hear me tell you how often you take my breath away? Do you want to know how often I have to fight every urge in me to sink my hands into your hair and untangle all your braids until I can see your hair loose and free? Maybe I ought to tell you then how you haunt my dreams. Or maybe you would like to hear about how it drives me mad being in your presence, but not being lucky enough to hold you. That even right now, I am so completely and utterly bewitched by your beauty that I’m trying not to fall to my knees and beg you simply just to kiss me again.”
Aimilia’s lips parted, which only strengthened the burning, desperate desire Nikias had just admitted to.
She whispered, “Is that all really true? Do you really think I’m that beautiful?”
Nikias couldn’t stop himself from taking her waist in his hands and pulling her close. “Of course, it is. I’ve thought you were beautiful long before I ever even thought to marry you. Itcertainly isn’t the only reason I would have you, if you would let me, but it certainly adds to my torment that you won’t take me.”
She let out a soft, whispered, “Nikias…”
This was almost exactly like a vision from one of his many dreams that Aimilia had haunted over the years. Her standing in front of him, cast in a beautiful glow while she stared up at him and with a tenderness in her eyes he’d only ever seen her show his brother before, lips parted. Aimilia’s hands curled into his cloak. She pushed herself up and Nikias’ breath caught in his throat.
Was she actually about to kiss him?
Did she actually love him? Or was he just seeing what he wanted to see, like he had time and time?
Did she love him, or did she just want him?
Nikias wouldn’t be able to survive it if she only wanted him. It wasn’t enough.
So Nikias shifted a step back, and Aimilia froze. She stared up at him, eyes widening, and her expression shifted in a moment. Her skin began to pale, and Nikias held onto her waist, keeping her from bolting.
“There is nothing I want more in this moment than for you to kiss me, but I’m going to have to beg of you to wait just a little longer.”
Aimilia said, “Wait?”
“Your grandfather just died. Only yesterday you nearly died, and myself as well. When you do kiss me, I don’t want there to be any doubt in my mind or yours that you’re doing it because you want to, and not because you’re grieving and sad and lonely and I just happened to be there.”
Aimilia pulled her hands back and the horror eased. That soft, tender look returned. She ducked her head, blushing. “I appreciate that.”
Nikias pulled his hands back, palms burning, and every instinct screaming at him not to let her go. “Believe me… it’s absolutely not because I don’t want to kiss you right now.”
Aimilia’s blush deepened and she stumbled back, gesturing. “I should—I should get some water.”
Nikias watched her go, hoping he did the right thing. He couldn’t risk misreading her and ending up taking advantage of her being in a vulnerable state.
If that wasn’t reason enough in and of itself, it would also surely doom him to the fate Hypatia had seen.
Nikias was done for the night. As he left, he spotted Hypatia and Konstantin, still sitting at the table. Hypatia had reached over and was clutching Konstantin’s arm with one hand. She had her head resting on his shoulder. Her eyes locked in on Nikias for the first time that night.
